Wow, my life must really suck

Gov. Jon S. Corzine, speaking publicly for the first time since he was seriously injured in an automobile accident two weeks ago, said Thursday that feels blessed to be alive.

"I'm the most blessed person who ever lived," Corzine told an Associated Press photographer Thursday from his hospital room. NJ Governor glad to be alive

Yes, what a great "blessing". He required seven pints of blood, a breathing tube, suffered 12 broken ribs, a femur that protruded through the skin of his thigh, a broken breastbone, a broken collarbone, a broken lower back bone and a flap-like cut on his skull.

Lord, please spare me this type of "blessing". I prefer the type of blessing where I don't get into accidents in the first place.

As for his comment that he is the most "blessed person who ever lived," I guess the rest of us are REALLY screwed.

Equal Justice for All?

Interesting story . . .

A man arrested on Wednesday for allegedly trying to use a stolen credit card at a drugstore got a break from a judge after passing a sort of Bible quiz.

When Eric Hine appeared in court this morning, his attorney described him as a church-goer, hoping the judge would set a low bond.

Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge John Burlew was skeptical and asked Hine to recite the 23rd Psalm.

He did: all six verses. Some in the courtroom applauded.

Burlew was satisfied and released Hine on a $10,0000 appearance bond,meaning he'll have to pay that amount if he doesn't show up for his next court date.

Judge gives break to Bible-Quoter

I'll give the Judge the benefit of the doubt and presume he gave the guy a break for honesty, rather than just the fact that he was a Christian.

Were I in front of the judge, I wouldn't have been able to quote all verses of the 23rd Psalm, but then, I wouldn't claim to be a church-goer.

Then again, I wouldn't have tried to use a stolen credit card either.

Yep, Yep, Yep.

There's a very good opinion piece in the Post about the current debate over our military presence in Iraq.

. . . take Vice President Cheney's statement on Tuesday: "Some Democratic leaders seem to believe that blind opposition to the new strategy in Iraq is good politics." Cheney assumes that opposition to the administration's policies must be "blind" rather than a considered, rational response to four years of failure. And the position must be rooted in "politics" and not in principle, presumably because reasonable people cannot possibly have good cause for disagreeing with the administration.

And

The president needs to convince Americans that a decent result in Iraq is still possible. Above all, he needs to answer the essential question: If we shouldn't have timetables now, how long does he think we'll need to keep combat forces in Iraq? Two years? Five years? More? And to what end?

I think this is exactly right. Much more goodness can be found here: Bush's Non-Argument

What a waste

Last night was the special 30th Anniversary screening of Star Wars at the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences in Hollywood with George Lucas attending. Very cool!

Unfortunately, they chose to show the 2004 Special Edition version instead of the original 1977 theatrical version. What a goofy thing to do. How can you have a discussion of a historical movie without actually showing the historical version? Sheesh.

Mmmmm Manwich

Manwich tonight! Manwich tonight! I'm going home and eating Manwich tonight!






(This post brought to you by 42 year old professional men who still love eating food meant for kids.)

He should have used "Hey, look over there!" and ran.

John McCain has had better times in his life.

Seen as a maverick, a "straight-talker", the perennial Presidential candidate has appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart at least ten times over the past few years. Stewart clearly likes him and has supported McCain's usually moderate take on politics.

Since the start of the 2008 political season (holy crap did it come early), McCain has undergone a transformation. Once the front runner for the Republican nomination, he now lags behind, in spite of (or because of) his rightward shift to try to capture Bush's ultra-conservative base. His bizarre positions on Iraq and the weird visit to the Iraqi marketplace have hurt him further.

McCain appeared as a guest on The Daily Show last night. Ouch. While still collegial and (mostly) polite, the interview was painful. Stewart and McCain spoke over one another throughout the entire interview. McCain avoided questions, answered in non-sequitors, and was less a "straight-talker" than a "spin doctor". Stewart had a good sense of humor about it, but wasn't giving McCain an easy pass. Stewart demanded answers and McCain dodged. McCain looked pained and un-Presidential. Despite his just-officially-announced candidacy, I think this is the beginning of the end for him.

The video of McCain's segment can be seen here: Ouch, that's painful.

I'll be surprised if McCain tries again to reconnect with his hip supporters on The Daily Show any time soon.

Metro Triumphs and Tribulations

I take the Washington DC Metro into work every morning. For the most part, it's a comfortable, reliable commute.

As I enter the station, there's always some tension as I make my way upstairs to the platform because I'm never sure if a train is sitting on the platform and about to leave until I actually get up there. Because of increasingly frequent train delays, missing a train can cost a lot of time.

For years now, I've hoped Metro would install electronic signs at the entrance to the station so I can know what's on the platform when I arrive. Hallelujah! Metro has finally granted my wish and is currently testing flat screen displays and revolving kiosk screens at select stations, including Shady Grove! Now, when I enter the tunnel below the platform, I can see whether or not a train is waiting above. Awesome! The kiosks (pictured) are especially cool as the screen rotates to be viewed on all sides.

Unfortunately, Metro isn't content with just giving critical information. They feel the need to include less useful info like lists of bus routes, station closing times, and elevator outages throughout the system. I'll give them some slack here. This info is less critical to most commuters, but is still somewhat useful.

More unfortunately (here comes the rant), the useful information above is alternated with commercials . . . for Metro! I can't tell you how many times I've approached the sign to find out when the next train leaves only to have the screen cut to a commercial.

"Use Metro to visit the National Zoo!" "Take Metro to Chinatown!"

"Uh, hello, I'm about to get on Metro. Why are you interrupting the flow of useful info to push me to get on Metro?!?"

I mean (in best Seinfeld voice), who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

Oh, Good Grief.

The article linked below may be the most stupid news item ever printed by a modern major news outlet. (In this case, Fox.) And we all know that's saying something.

Did the Devil Make Him Do It?

When unexplained violence takes center stage, we tend to turn to modern psychology to explain it.

But there is an alternative explanation, one that has been played out in film, stage and writings since the beginning of history.

Was Cho Seung-Hui schizophrenic … psychotic … manic-depressive? Or were the shooting deaths of 32 people, including Cho himself, at Virginia Tech University part of the ongoing struggle between God and Satan … good against evil … lightness and darkness?

Could Cho have been possessed by the Devil? Could that explain the massacre at Virginia Tech?

Shockingly,

"Dr. Richard Roberts, president of Oral Roberts University, shouts an unequivocal “Yes!”

I can't believe he's already ruled out the Boogie Man, Hannibal Lecter, and Hitler's Ghost.

You know it's a bizarre article when one of the voices of reason is Rev. Robert Schuller.

He says of Cho: “I think it’s pure psychotic crack-up.

Amen to that.

One Thumb, Way Down

One of the many warning signs of VT spree-killer, Cho Seung-Hui's, violent madness was the class assignments he submitted as an English major. Investigators delving into his life have found disturbing poetry and plays that clearly show his unfocused rage.

I don't mean to take any of this lightly and certainly mean no disrespect in the face of this horrific tragedy, but when I read his one-act play, Richard McBeef, the screenwriter in me couldn't help but turn a critical eye on the writing. Since he was an English major, I assumed that Cho would have been a decent writer.

I was wrong.

Richard McBeef is horrible. Bad dialogue, stupid characters, unrealistic reactions, and some bad grammar. I've read a lot of amateur scripts and this was one of the worst. As Mr. Howell would say, "I'd walk out of that film on an airplane." Clearly, it was the product of a very troubled and sick mind.

You can read the whole thing here.

April Sucks

Yikes.

April 16 - Virginia Tech massacre
April 19 - Waco siege disaster
April 19 - Oklahoma City bombing
April 20 - Columbine

These are not all coincidences as the date for the Oklahoma City bombing was chosen to coincide with Waco, while Columbine was chosen to coincide with Hitler's birthday.

I propose we just take April right off the calendar. Rename it or delete it altogether. Come to think of it, Bob would be a great name for a month. Who could kill anyone during Bob?

"Hey, let's get together next Saturday, Bob the 14th!"
"My birthday is Bob 5th, 2003."
"Where were you on the night of Bob the 22nd?"
"I think I'll go on my killing spree next Bob. Nah, that would be ridiculous!"

See? Much better.

Validation at last!

A new survey of 1,502 adults released Sunday by Pew Research Center for the People & the Press . . .

Pew judged the levels of knowledgeability (correct answers) among those surveyed and found that those who scored the highest were regular watchers of Comedy Central's The Daily Show and Colbert Report. They tied with regular readers of major newspapers in the top spot -- with 54% of them getting 2 out of 3 questions correct. Watchers of the Lehrer News Hour on PBS followed just behind. How Aware are Americans?

I am so smart! I am so smart! In your face, all you non-fake-news watchers!

And under the category of "No duh":

Virtually bringing up the rear were regular watchers of Fox News. Only 1 in 3 could answer 2 out of 3 questions correctly. Fox topped only network morning show viewers.

Woo woo!

From the Amazing Randi himself:

Which reminds me: I’m hoping that we may have put a new word into general circulation: “woo-woo.” It has the meaning – in the Oxford Dictionary, citing an 1841 usage – of “imitative of the sound of wind,” which is not too far off the way I use it, which would be, as a noun: “a person who accepts as valid, a ridiculous or highly unlikely premise” and as an adjective: “like, or acceptable to, a woo-woo.” Remember, dictionaries don’t define words, they only provide the usage. So, the more we employ the word, the closer it gets to being accepted… Swift Newsletter, April 13, 2007

I'm completely with him on this and already try to use the term as much as possible. That, and "pimpmobile".

My type is red

In Japan, there's a rather bizarre belief that your blood type determines your personality. Many employers base hiring decisions solely on blood type.

Here's a revealing Pop Vox at Japan Today asking Japanese if they believe in the blood/personality connection. The answers are depressing.

Of course, given that a majority of Americans don't "believe" in evolution and millions believe that all humans can be sorted into just twelve types based on their birth date (astrology), you can't be too hard on the Japanese.

They're just as uninformed and superstitious as we are.

Grindhouse

Grindhouse: A grindhouse is an American term for a theater that mainly showed exploitation films. . . . Grindhouses were known for non-stop programs of B movies, usually consisting of a double feature where two films were shown back to back. (Wikipedia)

I saw Grindhouse (the film) on Friday night. The house was about half full but it was an enthusiastic crowd, obviously fans of the type of over-the-top entertainment promised by the combined directorial firepower of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino in full-out film geek mode. None of my friends could (or wanted to) make it but with a rowdy crowd ready for a rowdy movie, I was not alone.

Shown at the start of the movie and between the two features are several fake trailers from other directors. While some are better than others, they were all great fun and added to the whole "Grindhouse" experience. My personal favorite was Eli Roth's trailer for the horror film, "Thanksgiving" (if for no other reason than that my friends and I made our own horror film entitled "Thanksgiving" around 30 years ago). (Crap. I'm old.)

The first feature of the night was "Planet Terror" directed by Rodriguez as an homage and satire of every gory zombie flick made during the sixties and seventies. It starts fast and never stops, delivering zero scares but plenty of "No way!" moments throughout. It's audacious, funny and I loved it. The crowd around me also seemed to be loving it. Everything, from the graphic gore effects to the cheesy music was dead on.

After the second batch of trailers came the second feature of the night, Tarantino's "Death Proof," about a serial killing stuntman who uses his car to kill vulnerable young women. I have been a big fan of Tarantino since Pulp Fiction and have seen pretty much everything he's directed or written.

What was my reaction to Death Proof?

I almost walked out.

Now I never walk out of movies. Never. And yet, I was shifting in my seat, trying to decide if I should just leave to end the misery. I couldn't believe it at the time.

A few spoilers follow.

"Death Proof" starts out slowly and goes nowhere fast with the story of four, unappealing, annoying, self-absorbed young women who chat with each other solely through Quentin Tarantino's trademarked hip, profane dialogue. Unfortunately, the style of dialogue that was sophisticated and interesting in Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown is here tedious to the extreme because these women have nothing interesting to say. And this dialogue goes on and on for forty minutes. Absolutely nothing else happens.

Finally, there's a brief action sequence, four new women are introduced and, unbelievably, we go through the exact same thing AGAIN! Unappealing characters, forty minutes of pretentiously self-aware dialogue followed by an all-too brief action sequence. Holy crap!

What made it worse for me is that the two most sympathetic characters in parts one and two of Death Proof were played by Vanessa Ferlito and Zoe Bell (as herself). I don't mean to focus on their looks, but Ferlito has drugged-out eyes and a "just punched in the face" look that I find massively unappealing. Zoe Bell, a Kiwi stuntwoman of obvious skill and target of Tarantino's latest geek-crush, is just odd looking. Normally, I wouldn't comment on such a thing, but since the camera was focused on both actresses in close-up for most of Death Proof, it really bugged me. Superficial, I'm willing to admit, but there you go.

To the good, the action sequence at the end was quite harrowing. I was squirming in my seat because it was so tense. Sadly, it wasn't enough to make up for the 80 minutes of prior tedium.

In the end, I found Death Proof uninteresting, self-indulgent, badly referential to other, greater, Tarantino films, and a huge disappointment.

If you like campy horror and zombie movies, go see Grindhouse for Planet Terror. But take my advice and walk out when the opening credits roll for Death Proof.

The W Stands for "Wabbit"

With the disastrous war in Iraq, terrible poll numbers, and his administration under fire for multiple scandals, President George W. Bush tries a new look to boost his popularity. Speaking before the annual White House Egg Hunt, he criticizes Congress for making him veto a funding bill for the troops.

(Note Vice President Cheney watching from the left.)

Just who thinks this?

"A lot of people think Christians sure don't struggle with this," Gross said. "The stats don't lie: Christians are consuming pornography. And to me, it's not a surprise." Xtians Fight Porn Addiction

What planet are you from to think that Christians don't "struggle" with the same things everyone else struggles with?

NEWSFLASH to Gross: Christians also gamble, have affairs, cheat on their taxes, lie, eat lobster (see Leviticus 11:10-12) and judge others. The only people who think Christians don't do these things are those with their heads so far up their bu--, er, Bibles, that they can't see more than a cubit beyond their own nose.

Just how lame are we?

I watch two reality shows with my family, Survivor and The Amazing Race. Both are well-produced, cast with interesting people, and always involve some good drama and a view of the diversity and wonder of this planet and the people that live on it. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

On Sunday night, we were watching The Amazing Race. We have learned that some countries don't allow you to buy airplane tickets at the airport; you have to buy them from a travel agency. As the contestants tried to get a flight out of Africa to Poland, several teams were at a travel agency looking for the best flight.

After about five minutes of watching this, the absurdity hit me. In the 21st century, with all the technology and entertainment at our command, with literally hundreds of channels and DVDs available, with the entirety of the Internet available on our computer, with dozens of X-Box games in front of us, with hundreds of board games in our basement - we were sitting in front of our HD TV watching images beamed from space to our satellite dish, of people buying tickets from a travel agent.

I honestly don't know whether I should be embarrassed or not.

TMNT and Meet the Robinsons

Movie season seems to be coming early this year. Within the past week I've seen two new CGI movies with the family. Quick reviews are below.

TMNT
I admit, I'm a fan of the 90's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. They're good fun and well made films (yes, Vanilla Ice excepted, of course). The producers of TMNT were smart and, like Superman Returns, TMNT is in the same universe as, and takes place after, the previous films, providing some welcome continuity. What's new here is the fairly incredible CGI which makes the settings more expansive, the Turtle's fight scenes better and the monsters more interesting. With a nuanced villain and ramped up action, this is a fine addition to the Turtles filmography. If you're a Turtles fan, you should enjoy the movie. My 9 year old son, Ben, loved it.

Meet the Robinsons
Carol, Ben and I went to see this yesterday. I had a very mixed reaction to the trailers and so was pleasantly surprised to have a very good time with this movie. The CGI is top-notch (as it often is in movies these days) and the voice work excellent (with actual voice actors rather than boatloads of stars looking for a quick paycheck.) With the exception of a fifteen minute segment in the middle of the film where we actually meet the Robinsons (their certifiable insanity struck me as unnecessary), I heartily recommend this. The story is poignant, the characters rich and there are some very interesting twists to the plot. The main villain, the "Bowler Hat Guy", is one of the most enjoyable villains I've seen in a movie in a long time. Very few animated movies, save for every single Pixar film, manage to choke me up. This one did.

We spent a couple of extra bucks and saw this in Disney Digital 3-D. Wow! The 3-D effect is excellent while avoiding the fate of other recent, murky, 3-D efforts. An early rain sequence is spectacular. Even better, there's very little "3-D for 3-D's sake" in the movie. The 3-D effects enhance the film rather than calling attention to themselves. Now that's an accomplishment.