Yeah, it's great until he takes a dump on stage at his graduation

Raising babies without diapers is a weird new trend.

Thirteen-month-old Dominic Klatt stopped banging the furniture in the verandah, looked at his mother and clasped his right hand around his left wrist to signal that he needed to go to the bathroom.

His mother took the diaper-less tot to a tree in the yard, held him in a squatting position and made a gentle hissing sound prompting the infant to relieve himself on cue before he rushed back to play.

Man, when this kid gets older and his friends discover his training, he's dead meat. "Hey, Dom, have you seen thisssssss? Ha ha ha! Stop relieving yourself. Stop relieving yourself."

I just can't believe that an infant has that much control over his bladder and bowels. Also, encouraging kids to just squat and dump wherever they happen to be doesn't seem exactly hygienic and dignified.

Isis Arnesen, 33, of Boston, has a 14-week-old daughter, Lucia, who is diaper-free. She said it can be awkward to explain the process to people, such as when she helped Lucia relieve herself in a sink at a public restroom.

"Sometimes I don't know what's gonna happen and it doesn't work, and sometimes I feel a little embarrassed," Arnesen said. "It makes her happy though, right? She smiles, she's happy."

I'd be happy too if I could just relieve myself in the sink in the Men's room, or better yet, the water fountain in the hall. It would certainly save me a lot of time walking all the way down to the restroom and getting in that cramped stall. And what if there's a United States Senator in the stall next to me? Do I really want to take that chance?

It's a Miracle!

Ooh, we've never seen this on TV before.

ABC has won a bidding war with Fox for a drama project set in the world of televangelists.

"Miracle" centers on a disgraced former televangelist, a man of no faith, who finds that God is using him to perform real miracles and change lives, starting with his own.

Wow, a man with no faith finds that he is performing "real" miracles with God's help. How swell. Of course, under these circumstances, he wouldn't need "faith" because he'd have "proof".

The next time I hear someone say that Hollywood is hostile to religion (in particular, Christianity) I'm going to smack them with a disgraced former televangelist.

A Whole New World

I've never understood Biscotti.

Biscotti is a ROCK HARD biscuit-like contrivance that some people actually eat. They are often pointy at the end and would make a pretty good shiv in a tight spot. Accessibility to these lethal-at-close-range baked goods certainly explains why donut shops are so much easier to rob than coffee shops. As far as eating them, Biscotti are so hard that they often shatter into even deadlier shards when bitten, assuming you have the jaw strength to actually bite through one.

Or so I believed.

Yesterday, my boss brought in some home made Biscotti. I thought she was sending a mixed message to her employees -- I care enough about you to bake something for you, but what I am baking may actually kill you. Then one of my co-workers mentioned dunking the Biscotti in coffee.

The lightbulb appeared over my head. My eyes opened. A train went into a tunnel (sorry, wrong metaphor). In other words, I had a real "duh" moment. It had never occurred to me to dunk them in anything except the trash. So I dunked one.

The coffee flavored the Biscotti and, more importantly, softened it sufficiently to turn a deadly weapon into a delightful, delicious crunchy treat. I've since had about a dozen of them. I finally understand Biscotti.

Even better, I can now turn my vast intellect to solving other universal mysteries like dark matter and the appeal of Mariah Carey.

Shameful

Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the Gulf Coast two years ago today.

On September 15, 2005, President Bush said the following in a speech from New Orleans:

Good evening. I'm speaking to you from the city of New Orleans -- nearly empty, still partly under water, and waiting for life and hope to return. Eastward from Lake Pontchartrain, across the Mississippi coast, to Alabama into Florida, millions of lives were changed in a day by a cruel and wasteful storm.
. . .

And tonight I also offer this pledge of the American people: Throughout the area hit by the hurricane, we will do what it takes, we will stay as long as it takes, to help citizens rebuild their communities and their lives.
. . .

To carry out the first stages of the relief effort and begin rebuilding at once, I have asked for, and the Congress has provided, more than $60 billion. This is an unprecedented response to an unprecedented crisis, which demonstrates the compassion and resolve of our nation.
. . .

And the federal government will undertake a close partnership with the states of Louisiana and Mississippi, the city of New Orleans, and other Gulf Coast cities, so they can rebuild in a sensible, well-planned way. Federal funds will cover the great majority of the costs of repairing public infrastructure in the disaster zone, from roads and bridges to schools and water systems. Our goal is to get the work done quickly. And taxpayers expect this work to be done honestly and wisely -- so we'll have a team of inspectors general reviewing all expenditures.

So, how has President Bush done in keeping his promises?

Read it and weep: Bush heads to Gulf Coast

Who would have thought that two years after Katrina, the Gulf Coast would still be in such a sorry state? It really beggars belief.

We've been extremely fortunate that another hurricane hasn't hit the area.

Curse you, Chili's restaurant!

Imagine you're in an airport bathroom stall, tending to business.

There's a particular song that just won't get out of your head, so you're tapping your right foot to the beat. You're so into it, you don't notice when your foot moves up against the foot of the guy in the stall next to you. In fact, getting into the groove, you begin to swing your left arm to the beat and your hand swipes under the stall divider several times. Moments later a cop advises you that you're under arrest for lewd behavior.

Assuming that your actions were all completely innocent, do you:

1. Raise a holy stink, denying any lewd conduct, explain your behavior, get a lawyer and defend against the charge; or
2. Say, "Hey, look over there!" and use the resulting confusion to escape the bathroom and fly to another country; or
3. Plead guilty to lewd conduct in a public place (a misdemeanor).

If you're Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, apparently option "3" is your choice. One that you now regret.

"At the time of this incident, I complained to the police that they were misconstruing my actions. I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct," he said. "I should have had the advice of counsel in resolving this matter. In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously."

In "hindsight" you shouldn't have pled guilty? Ya think?

It actually sounds rather silly that he would be arrested for what he did, and it's hard to imagine that he would have been successfully prosecuted since no sexual contact or verbal invitation ever took place. But pleading guilty is pretty strong evidence that he was indeed soliciting for sex.

But that's okay, because at least he's not a giant hypocrite or anything.

"In recent years, Craig's voting record has earned him top ratings from social conservative groups such as the American Family Association, Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council.

He has supported a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, telling his colleagues that it was "important for us to stand up now and protect traditional marriage, which is under attack by a few unelected judges and litigious activists."

Oops.

Defective Yeti does it again

I read the "What's New" page of Snopes.com every day. It's a great place to keep tabs on all the bizarre stories floating around the Intertubes, allowing me to be assume an air of smug superiority and be a complete know-it-all when someone e-mails me some ridiculous urban legend.

Just today I read this glurgy story about Jesus protecting two Muslim girls who had been buried alive. That anyone would believe this story is a sad testament to human rationality.

The always amusing Defective Yeti also saw the Jesus story and dealt with it in his usual hilarious way. Check out his take here: Snopes Isn't Even Trying Anymore. (Warning: Contains a bad word.)

These are flippin' AWESOME

Just sayin'.

One small victory

This story, about a 5 year old Iraqi boy, Yousiff, who was grabbed outside his home, doused with gasoline, and set ablaze is horrific and heartbraking. I actually gasped aloud when I saw the pictures accompanying the story.

Not surprisingly, thousands of people have stepped forward to help Yousiff, including a burn center in the U.S. which will provide treatment free of charge. While he has years of painful recuperation ahead, there is some hope that Yousiff will be healed as much as modern medicine can heal him. This is the best possible news in this story.

Still, while this is an undeniable good, it leaves me sad for all the other little boys and girls around the world suffering from hunger, disease, injury and mistreatment who didn't get any publicity and whose lives will continue to be filled with utter misery. It makes you realize how much more good we could do if we tried harder to find those in need, especially children, and help them.

Monarchy in the U.S.

Most of my life, I have voted Republican. In fact, I actually voted for George W. Bush in the 2000 election. Why? (No, not brain death, hypnosis or the Imperius curse.) I voted for him because I like centrist candidates who aren't on the extreme left or right. Bush seemed like a safe, centrist candidate, much as his father had been.

I'm a big enough man to admit that was a mistake. A HUGE mistake. A gigantic, enormous, wim-tim-nabulous mistake. The last six years of Republican majority have pretty much put me off voting for Republicans for the next, oh, let's say, century. So, I'm looking pretty closely at the Democratic candidates.

Most conservatives have a knee-jerk reaction to Hillary Clinton. I suspect for many there's a bit of misogyny involved. Personally, I don't entirely trust her as she continues to support the war, has been wishy-washy in support of gay rights and I think she values secrecy far too much. Also, it may be silly but she just seems a little too mean to me (the reason I didn't like Bob Dole as a candidate.)

In any event, I don't want her to be President for the following reason. (The chart below assumes Clinton wins and then wins reelection).

Presidents of the United States:

1989-1993 George H.W. Bush (father)
1993-2001 Bill Clinton (husband)
2001-2009 George W. Bush (son of a . . . I mean, son)
2009-2017 Hillary Clinton (wife)

The entire idea of having the Presidency of the United States come from just two families for seven terms (28 years) really, really creeps me out. Is there no one else from the 300 million population of the U.S. who can win the office?

For this reason alone, I hope Hillary is not the Democratic nominee.

Morons make movie

Thanks to PZ Meyers at Pharyngula for ruining my afternoon.

This is stupid, stupid, stupid. Expelled.

From their news release:

It's a movie that Ferris Bueller would take the day off to go see. What freedom-loving student wouldn't be outraged to discover that his high school science teacher is teaching a theory as indisputable fact, and that university professors unmercifully crush any fellow scientists who dare question the prevailing system of belief? This isn't the latest Hollywood comedy; it's a disturbing new documentary that will shock anyone who thinks all scientists are free to follow the evidence wherever it may lead.

There is just so much wrong with the above paragraph, it defies belief. First and foremost, evolution IS AN INDISPUTABLE FACT, YOU MORONS!

Then the backers of this film are revealed and everything makes sense:

Produced by Premise Media, Expelled, in theaters February 2008, is being marketed by Motive Entertainment, the company that has spearheaded significant Hollywood blockbusters, including The Passion of the Christ, Polar Express and The Chronicles of Narnia. Rocky Mountain Pictures, an established distribution company, which has enjoyed numerous box-office successes, will distribute the film.

Gee, I wonder if Motive Entertainment has an agenda? Or maybe a particular religious affiliation?

Says the star, conservative apologist Ben Stein, who should be smarter than this:

"Big Science in this area of biology has lost its way," says Stein."Scientists are supposed to be allowed to follow the evidence wherever it may lead, no matter what the implications are. Freedom of inquiry has been greatly compromised, and this is not only anti-American, it's anti-science. It's anti-the whole concept of learning."

The level of irony in "no matter what the implications are," is off the scale considering the amount of denial in the Intelligent Design community. And what evidence could he be talking about? Intelligent Design has NONE. They don't even have a working hypothesis.

I imagine Ferris Bueller would actually kick Ben Stein in the nuts over this.

I have to go. I have a headache from all the stupidity.

Iraq War - A view from the front line

Check out this amazing and brave editorial in the New York Times.

It was written not by the Times editorial board, pundits, or political hacks. It was written by real troops, serving in Iraq.

Buddhika Jayamaha is an Army specialist. Wesley D. Smith is a sergeant. Jeremy Roebuck is a sergeant. Omar Mora is a sergeant. Edward Sandmeier is a sergeant. Yance T. Gray is a staff sergeant. Jeremy A. Murphy is a staff sergeant.

"As responsible infantrymen and noncommissioned officers with the 82nd Airborne Division soon heading back home, we are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day. (Obviously, these are our personal views and should not be seen as official within our chain of command.)"

It really is a must read.

Huge, huge idiot wants more death

Opinion piece by Stu Bykofsky

ONE MONTH from The Anniversary, I'm thinking another 9/11 would help America.

What kind of a sick bastard would write such a thing?

A bastard so sick of how splintered we are politically - thanks mainly to our ineptitude in Iraq - that we have forgotten who the enemy is.

Yes, rather than thinking of ways for our enemies to be defeated, rather than thinking of ways to resolve these complex international problems with as little bloodshed as possible, it's better to think how swell it would be if thousands of innocent human beings were killed. Because you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet and all political divisions would vanish if only terrorists would conveniently eliminate some of our pesky "alive" people.

Turn back to 9/11.

Remember the community of outrage and national resolve? America had not been so united since the first Day of Infamy - 12/7/41.

We knew who the enemy was then.

We knew who the enemy was shortly after 9/11.

Ah, yes, the good old days. Shock. Horror. Office workers falling to their deaths. Who can't look back on it without feeling nostalgic?

What would sew us back together?

Another 9/11 attack.

The Golden Gate Bridge. Mount Rushmore. Chicago's Wrigley Field. The Philadelphia subway system. The U.S. is a target-rich environment for al Qaeda.

Because what kind of a wimp would rather live in a peaceful world than one in which we're constantly afraid, constant victims of terror?

If it is to be, then let it be. It will take another attack on the homeland to quell the chattering of chipmunks and to restore America's righteous rage and singular purpose to prevail.

Don't you people understand? The chipmunks are chattering! It's keeping me up all night! I can't sleep for the constant, constant chattering! I'd kill for a good night's sleep!

Come on you lazy terrorists, do your part, will you? What are ya, yella? How can we heal America unless you keep on hurting us? Duh!

In Memory - Ann Kidder (1942-2007)

On July 26, the day before we left for Indiana, my Aunt Ann died at the age of 64. She married my Mom's brother, Dick, not long after I was born and their only child is my cousin Drew.

Aunt Ann was undoubtedly one of the nicest persons I've ever known. She always had a smile on her face and she spoke with a firm, gentle voice. I never heard her say an unkind word about others. Aunt Ann was a very thoughtful, considerate and loving woman who seemed to handle any adversity with a positive outlook. It should also be noted that she played a mean game of Rack-O.

As a lifelong Baptist of a rather conservative denomination, if you had asked her, she would have said that her temperament came from her strong Christian faith. But I think this gives her too little credit. I believe she would have been a wonderful person whether religious or not; her goodness stemmed not from her beliefs but from who she chose to be.

Aunt Ann had been fighting cancer and a number of other health problems for a few years. She was in and out of the hospital, hospice and her home. During this ordeal, my Mom selflessly spent countless hours, sometimes seven days a week for months at a time, at her side, making sure she was comfortable and entertained. My Mom is a pretty wonderful person too.

At the end, Aunt Ann died in her home as she wanted. She was a remarkable person and we will all miss her.

Magic box leads doofuses to great success

While we saw many spectacular sights and experienced many interesting things on our recent vacation, the biggest hit was a piece of technology we bought to assist us. Convinced after taking my friend Bill's GPS unit for a test-drive, we decided that if we were going to get a GPS, it made sense to get it before we went on a long drive to Canada and back. (I wish we had made that same decision in acquiring passports, but that's another issue.)

After some research, I purchased from Best Buy the Garmin Streetpilot c330, which comes pre-loaded with maps of America and Canada. What a great purchase.

One of the cool things about this unit is that its crisp female voice speaks in about a dozen languages, including American English and British English. We set it on British English because it sounded infinitely cooler (duh). The unit was soon dubbed "J.K.".

By now we know the route from DC to Indiana by heart, so we didn't really need J.K. for navigation, but she turned out to be really useful in locating a gas station ahead when we were in danger of running empty. It's actually kind of exciting to hear her count down the miles to go when you know the engine can conk out at any second for want of fuel. And while she was very helpful in helping us find a hotel for the night, she would have been even more useful had we noticed that all her business entries include a phone number to call ahead and check for vacancies.

After a week in Indiana, we spent the night in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where I went to law school and where Carol and I lived right after we got married. J.K. helped us find some local sights (Cottage Inn and Domino's Farms) we had long forgotten how to find. When we started for Canada, we just told J.K. to take us to our hotel in Toronto, and she directed us all the way to the entrance.

Only twice did we have any issues with her performance. Curiously, she failed to have in her database several long-time Elkhart restaurants located right near the Indiana Toll Road. We know how to get there anyway, but the omission of the restaurants was strange.

The second issue arose when we were desperately low on fuel as we left the hotel in Toronto. (Yes, we almost ran out of gas TWICE on this vacation. Sorry about that.) For some reason, convenience stores in Toronto are listed in J.K.'s database as gas stations. We spent at least 20 minutes driving around Toronto following false leads, looking for a gas station with no luck. After stopping in frustration and then checking out the Royal Ontario Museum, a helpful doorman pointed us to the nearest fueling station.

As we left Niagara, J.K. took us on the quickest route south through New York and Pennsylvania without a hitch. If we made a wrong turn, which we did a couple of times because of pilot error (stupid pilot!), she recalculated and got us right back on course.

Carol had printed out multiple maps on Mapquest before we left. We didn't need a single one.

As I said, J.K. was the hit of our vacation.

Pirates vs. Ninjas

I love this: Pirates vs. Ninjas Slideshow. (Click on the slide to advance to the next slide).

From Wellington Grey, creator of funny little informational slides, charts and graphics.

Mini Reviews - Transformers, Live Free or Die Hard, The Simpsons Movie

Here are a few movie reviews that I had started before going on vacation. Might as well post them now.

Transformers

I really enjoyed Transformers and GI Joe during the mid-80's. (Yes, I was in college at the time. Deal with it.) I preferred GI Joe, but they were very similar shows, depicting two personality-rich groups of antagonists locked in eternal, yet peculiarly non-lethal, combat. So, I was somewhat interested to see the new Michael Bay CGI fest. I was even more interested because my son, Ben, was very excited. It's always fun seeing a movie with an excited Benjamin.

I liked the movie. The CGI was VERY well done. The action was good and there was a decent amount of humor. I was surprised that there was actually a surplus of plot; they could have cut out a couple of completely irrelevant sub-plots without issue.

What I didn't like was the complete lack of character development of the Decepticons. Megatron doesn't come into the story until very late and Starscream had only two lines. Really. These were some seriously underdeveloped villains.

For the record, Ben loved it. "Greatest movie ever!" he told everyone as we left the theatre.

Live Free or Die Hard

Just to make everything clear, here's my position on the Die Hard series.

Die Hard was a classic action movie. It reinvented the genre in ways that still reverberate in movies today. Die Hard 2 suffers from a completely ridiculous evil plan, is not remotely plausible or particularly good. Die Hard 3 is very good as a movie, but was originally written as a Lethal Weapon script and it shows. Making McClane an alcoholic outsider within his own police force was a lame cliche that did a major disservice to the character. Still, the movie itself is clever and interesting.

The new Die Hard is closer in tone and style to Die Hard 3 than the first two in the series in that it free-ranges over multiple locations. McClane is divorced (boo) but is no longer an alcoholic and obviously a respected police officer (yea). The evil plot to disrupt all media (TV, Internet, etc.) from a semi-trailer is goofy and there are some silly action sequences, but for the most part, the movie works. It's entertaining and interesting. Bruce Willis has always been good in the role and doesn't disappoint here.

The Simpsons Movie

I saw this with my family while on vacation. I loved the first 30 minutes or so but when the plot gets going, the movie loses some steam. Still, there were very funny bits throughout and my overall reaction was that I enjoyed it.

One thing that really bothers me is that The Simpsons Movie suffered greatly from that now nearly omni-present malady, the over-inclusive trailer. I had seen a great deal of this movie through commercials and trailers before ever setting foot in the theatre. The studio definitely gave away way too many of the jokes in the promotional material.

And here's my one big Simpsons fanatic nit. As any Simpsons fan knows, the Springfield equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger is the awesome Rainier Wolfcastle. Bizarrely, through the movie they have now established that Arnold Schwarzenegger is real in the Simpsons universe, looks and talks just like Rainier Wolfcastle, and that he is President of the United States. Why didn't they just make Wolfcastle the President? Were they afraid it was too subtle a parody? It was a very odd choice.

Still, any movie that unleashed the super awesome Spider-Pig on the world is okay by me.

Futurama Update III

Here's the latest news on the Futurama movies and episodes.

Full details here.

This confirms what I had feared. There will be four new movies released on DVD but no actually new episodes. The episodes to air on Comedy Central will be recycled from the movies. Each 88 minute movie will be cut up into four half-hour episodes. What a weird deal.

I am also slightly concerned about the apparent focus on Bender. I hope they don't overdo it. Bender is a great character but he's better as supporting or part of the ensemble then as the lead. They produced a lot of Bender-centric episodes right near the end of the series and they weren't their best efforts.

Either way, I'm thrilled there will be more Futurama in a few months.

Story of my life

On some days, I wake up energized, brimming with enthusiasm, filled with creative ideas and a desire to get things done.

On all other days, I wake up and have to go to work.

2007 Indiana and Canada Tour

Random thoughts on our vacation:

• We like to book hotels with indoor pools because the kids love to swim. I don't care so much about the pool as much as the hot tub/jacuzzi/whirlpool. (Can we please pick one name and go with it? Really.) Ideally, the hot tub needs to be (1) around 105 degrees, (2) nicely aerated, and (3) close to the pool so I can watch the kids rather than feeling guilty about Carol having to watch them while I soak in hot water and bubbles. When the first hotel on your trip has a very good hot tub, it's a bad sign for the rest of the trip. Sure enough, the hot tubs at the rest of the hotels sucked. There's nothing more depressing than sitting in "almost hot" water with minimal bubbles.


• During the first week of our vacation I had my two favorite pizzas in the world. Sausage, pepperoni and mushroom from Greg's Volcano Pizza, and a Spicy Mediterranean (Hot pepper rings, feta cheese, mozzarella cheese, topped with herbs and olive oil) from Cottage Inn. The Spicy Med was particularly awesome. Had we stayed in Ann Arbor a second night, we would have gone back.


• We crossed the Canadian/American border four times. Each time the border guards asked us different questions, none of which would have prevented a terrorist from entering the country, unless the terrorist was importing fruit.


• American cash is colorless, boring and sucks. Canada's money kicks our money's butt.


• Unfortunately, at this point in history the values of American and Canadian currencies are almost identical. Canadian cash is worth 98 cents to the American dollar which is just wrong. Made Canada much more expensive. Boo.


• Toronto has a lot of street beggars. A lot. I was approached more times in two days than I am in Washington DC in a month.


• Walking on a glass floor when you're 1100+ feet in the air is creepy. Yes, I know that the floor could take the weight of 14 hippos and I couldn't break the floor with a jackhammer, but it's still creepy.


• This guy, Sir Henry Pellatt, got totally ripped off by Canada. But, to the plus side, they used his house as the setting for Xavier's school in X-Men, so that's something he could be happy about if he weren't dead.


• At Niagara Falls, the Canadian side is much better. Better falls, better hotels, better entertainment, more fun to be had. Sorry, America.


• The one thing that the American side of Niagara Falls has going for it is the Cave of the Winds. Awesome, even though it doesn't feature any sort of cave whatsoever. Walk a wooden deck right up to the base of the Bridal Veil. Only 1 percent of the water over Niagara Falls goes over the Bridal Veil, and it's still unbelievable to experience it so close. Far superior to Canada's Journey Behind the Falls.


• Kids like to whine. A lot.


• The five-bladed Gillette Fusion razor (which I use at home) is FAR superior to the three-bladed Gillette Mach 3 which is in my travel pack. Those extra two blades really make a huge difference. I can't wait for a seven-bladed razor to make the Fusion look like a chump.


• Metric conversion sucks. I wish we had earnestly switched to Metric in the 70's so it would be established in America by now.


• "English as the U.S. official language" advocates would hate Canada. Everything is in English and French.

And that's what I learned on our vacation.

Harry Potter and the really long read

Last night I started re-reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (obviously I'm an American and couldn't be bothered with the word "Philosopher's"). Over the last few years, I've read all the books (save the last) multiple times. This time, I'm reading all seven books straight through. I want to experience the whole narrative in one swoop. Also, I'm curious how long it will take me.

I have to say, I was immensely pleased with the first chapter which takes place on the morning following the death of Lily and James Potter and the disappearance of Voldemort. So much of the story is already laid out, including references to characters and situations we won't encounter until several books later. Wonderful.
I'll update as I go. In the meantime, check out these really interesting articles about the last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Warning: if you haven't read the last book, these articles contain Spoilers.
"J.K. Rowling's Ministry of Magic" by Stephen King (yes, that Stephen King).
"The End of Childhood" by Mark Harris

Finally

Rove is leaving.

Rove to US: "It has been the joy and the honor of a lifetime."

US to Rove: You suck.

Seriously, the guy said it's been a "joy". Six of the most turbulent, divisive years in American history, with thousands of Americans dead and perhaps hundreds of thousands of Iraqis dead and this guy calls being at the center of the policies that caused this maelstrom a "joy". What a dick.

"You're never going to replace him," said another senior administration official, adding that Rove served a "unique role."

He continued, "We are, however, looking at several people for his job, including that delightful Manson fellow, Hannibal Lecter, and Zombie Hitler. Unfortunately, Idi Amin recently died so we had to drop him from consideration."

Wacky Races

Like probably everyone of my generation, as a kid I was a big fan of cartoons. One show I really liked was "Wacky Races", based on the 1965 movie, "The Great Race" starring Tony Curtis, Natalie Wood, Peter Falk, and Jack Lemmon. Wacky Races had 11 teams in exotic vehicles (cavemen in a stone car, a professor in a car that could convert into anything, monsters in a ghoul car, etc.) engaging in a weekly race. Suffice to say, "wackiness" ensued.

Yesterday I turned on the TV and saw that some channel was running a Wacky Races marathon so I watched for a few minutes. During those few minutes, Penelope Pitstop (the only female racer and clearly a hot babe) was having car trouble. Up raced the ultimate male figure in the race, Peter Perfect, in his car, the Turbo Terrific, to lend assistance.

34 years later, not being 8 years old any more, the symbolism of his car suddenly made sense. In fact, it slapped me upside the head and proceeded to smack me around the room. I may have actually blacked out.

I'm happy I was able to see something as an adult that I loved as a kid. And I'm proud that I understood it this time. But I can't decide whether I should be amused or horrified at my discovery.

I'm Back

After two weeks on the road, my family and I returned home on Saturday. It was a nice, relaxed trip. We visited our family in Indiana and then set off to Toronto and Niagara Falls for some nuclear family time. Carol and I celebrated our 20th anniversary in Toronto which we visited on our Honeymoon.

I have a bunch of posts queued up, so stand by. In the meantime, here's the route we took, starting and ending at "E".

This just in: President arrives, makes things worse

Bush arrives to inspect bridge collapse. Remains of bridge then promptly explode.