Yes, it's his tomb. And his bones. And his class ring. And he wants his shroud back!

Finally the proof we've been waiting for!

"The Lost Tomb of Jesus," produced by Oscar-winning director James Cameron and scheduled to air March 4 on the Discovery Channel, argues that 10 small caskets discovered in 1980 in a Jerusalem suburb may have held the bones of Jesus and his family.

"There's a definite sense that you have to pinch yourself," Cameron said Monday at a news conference. He told NBC'S "Today" show earlier that statisticians found "in the range of a couple of million to one" in favor of the documentary's conclusions about the caskets, or ossuaries." CNN Article.

Well, someone is certainly owed a pinching.

Assuming that the ossuaries are being read correctly and the names on them are, in fact, Jesus, Mary, and Judah, what kind of bizarre assumptions would you have to make to conclude that the odds are a couple of million to one in favor of them being the actual historical Jesus and clan? Doesn't the fact that these were very common names at the time completely throw all of this speculation out the window?

I suspect that, in the future, someone will discover the tombstone below and come to the completely reasonable conclusion that it's James Cameron's tomb.

Imagination, my butt

Whenever someone adapts a beloved book filled with fantastic locales and scenarios (Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, etc.) you always hear someone else decry the adaptation because "No filmmaker can match the power of a child's imagination." In other words, the images the filmmaker creates can't compete with the awesome images created in a person's mind when they read the material.

This is complete bullcrap.

I have a pretty good imagination, but when I envision literature as I read it, the scale is not particularly impressive. The Battle of the Pellenor Fields invariably doesn't include more than a few hundred soldiers and they all tend to look alike. Hogwarts in my mind never had moving staircases, many different styles of architecture, and magic flitting in the corners of my vision. Frankly, my imagination, as good as it is, is limited in scope. I can't compete with the visual artists, conceptual artists, costumers, set decorators, and directors who create whole worlds on film.

Imagination is fantastic and is necessary for all these worlds to exist. But an individual's imagination just can't compete. So if I never hear any more of that "power of a child's imagination" claptrap, it will be soon enough!

Peter Jackson's "Return of the King"

The same scene in my imagination.

Cool Links I

I've been meaning to do a big post of some cool links. But I don't have the time at the moment so I'll do a small post of some cool links.

Superman is a Dick - If you haven't seen this site yet, hop on over right away. Graphic examples of past Superman comic covers prove conclusively that the Man of Steel is a total dick.

70's Kid's Vids - Did you grow up on the live action Saturday morning shows of the 70's? Then you're pretty old. Nevertheless, this site catalogs the bizarre fun that was H.R. Pufnstuf, Lidsville, Electra Woman and Dyna Girl, Shazam!, and many others.

TNG Episode Reviews by Wil Wheaton - Yes, Wil Wheaton, Wesley Crusher himself, has gone back to rewatch and review first season Next Generation episodes. Wil writes with wit, self-deprecation, and an adult's perspective on what had to have been a great personal triumph leading to much tribulation. Really, these are hilarious.

Guess the Dictator or Sitcom Character - Probably my wife's favorite web site. Pick a sitcom character or dictator and see if the site can identify them with a series of questions.

Revenge of the Sith - Parody script for the third installment of Star Wars. Makes me laugh every time I read it. Warning: some off-color language for those sensitive types.

I just thought she had a lisp

Ohhhh.

"Ash" Wednesday. No wonder all those women slapped me today.

These would liven up the commute

I commute daily on one of the most interesting subway systems in the world. That's not to say that it's without problems, but the DC Metro is architecturally interesting, modern and comfortable.

Encouraged by a newspaper article about Bilbao, Spain's "Blade Runner-esque" Fosteritos (metro entrances), this morning I found a website with descriptions and photos of amazing subway systems around the world. Some of these stations, filled with art and light are just spectacular. Check them out here.

Starship Troopers Revisited

I'm not afraid to admit it: I love the movie Starship Troopers. It's all satire, wickedly funny, and the action scenes are exciting and really well done.

Don't believe me? Check out this review:

Starship Troopers, In Defense Of . . .

Gee, another mortal enemy of the West

Now we have to add Cheetahs to the Axis of Evil. Clearly they are in a powerful alliance with those deadly Stingrays.

Woman Killed by Cheetahs

“Karen loved animals. Unfortunately the cheetahs betrayed her trust,” Libot said.

One of the cats that killed Aerts was named Bongo, whom the woman had adopted under a special program. She paid for Bongo’s food, Libot said.

Those disloyal bastards! This woman paid for Bongo's food, but the hungry cat couldn't pass up a free meal.

Victory!

From an AP story.

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Whew! What a relief! Of course, I'm fairly certain that three weeks of "intensive counseling" could also have convinced him that he's a stalk of broccoli.

Now that he's sure he's completely heterosexual, I'm certain that Haggard won't have any more sex with a male prostitute. Because that would be totally gay.

Wouldn't the Saints have been a better choice?

"The Lord set this up in a way that no one would believe it. The Lord tested us a lot this year, but He set this up to get all the glory."
- Colts Head Coach, Tony Dungy as quoted by the Baptist Press.

Hallelujah! Lately I've been worried that God has been distracted by a lack of glory. I don't know, he just didn't seem very "glorious" over the past few months. Now that He's set up the Super Bowl to address this "glory-gap", maybe he'll get to work on cancer, pedophilia, or now and again keep a hurricane from wiping out entire cities. That would be swell.

My Fondest Memories in the Dark (that I can talk about)

I've always been a big movie fan. There are few things I love more than settling into a movie theater with a bucket of popcorn (a staple) and a large blue raspberry icee (a rather newer offering), friends and family in the seats next to me, and seeing a good movie. I can forego the experience and see the same movie later on DVD for a whole lot cheaper, but it's just not as much fun.

Following are my fondest movie theater experiences. It's not that something unusual happened, like dollar bills falling from the ceiling, but the combination of the time, the movie, and the crowd made these experiences wonderful.

Jaws (1975) (Concord Mall Cinema, Elkhart, Indiana) - I was ten years old. My best friend at the time, Tom Wilson, asked me to go with him and his father to see Jaws. I had no idea what I was in for. As we sat in the front row (our practice at the time), watching the opening underwater shots and hearing the first strains of John William's Jaws' theme, I had a slight moment of panic. This was going to be SCARY! It was my first really adult movie and the very first summer blockbuster. I loved it. Of course, I slept on the floor in my parents' bedroom many times over the rest of the summer.

Star Wars (1977) (North Village Mall Cinema, South Bend, Indiana) - One of the defining moments of my life. I didn't see Star Wars coming. Again, my friend, Tom, precipitated the event, asking me to go to see a new science fiction movie. Being 12 years old and unconnected to entertainment news, I had very little understanding of what was about to unfold. The opening shots of the Star Destroyer flying overhead were as awe-inspiring as anything I've ever seen. Many in the theater actually giggled in delight. I still remember the audience's loud cheer when the Millennium Falcon saved the day over the Death Star. We went to see Star Wars at least five more times in the theater during its year long run (!) and it thrilled me every time.

Alien (1979) (Cinema One, Elkhart, Indiana) - At 14 years old, I was a member of the Orion Science Fiction Club, a group of mostly adults who met in the Pierre Moran branch of the library to discuss science fiction literature. They planned an outing to see Alien and convinced my parents to let me go. I am so glad I saw this in the theatre. It was scary, atmospheric, creepy, sophisticated and adult. Seeing it for the first time years later on videotape just wouldn't have been the same.

Star Trek the Motion Picture (1979) (Cinema One, Elkhart, Indiana) - I have always been a Star Trek fan. Due to the great Trek drought of the seventies, this movie was the most important event of my life to that time. I waited years for this movie. On the day it premiered, December 7, 1979, my friend Craig Artley and I met at the movie theater hours before the first showing. We dragged along a bunch of our Trek memorabilia (books, tapes, toys) for entertainment while we waited. (An experience I duplicated with Treks II and III, always being the first in line.) When the doors finally opened, the theater owner, Bill Miller, a very nice man I knew through church, wouldn't let us take all our crap into the theater but allowed us to store it in a stairwell. After we saw the first show of the day (7PM!), we got right back in line and stayed for the last show of the day (9:30PM).

A moment's digression: Unfortunately, I was in Europe when The Empire Strikes Back came out and so I missed the opening day excitement. I saw it a couple of weeks later with a packed crowd, but with none of my friends. Had I seen it on opening day, I am certain it would be on this list.

Tremors (1990) (Ann Arbor, Michigan) - I was in my last semester of law school. Typically, I wouldn't have gone to see a monster/horror flick and Tremors didn't attract my attention. But I read a favorable review in the Ann Arbor News and it made the movie sound like so much fun, Carol and I went that night. I'm glad we did. Tremors was a blast, well made and funny, and it's become one of my favorite movies.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) (Downtown DC) and Jurassic Park (1993) (Rio Cinema, Gaithersburg, Maryland) - These two benchmarks in computer animation were both great fun at the movies. Seeing these in a theatre with an opening night crowd was exhilirating, thrilling and just plain spectacular.

Pulp Fiction (1994) (Rio Cinemas, Gaithersburg, Maryland) - I started working for the government in late 1990. Soon after, I became friends with one of my colleagues, Dan Silver, with whom I shared a love of movies. (Actually, Dan was a much bigger movie fan than I was and owned hundreds of laserdiscs. When DVDs came along, Dan, without so much as a second thought, sold all his laserdiscs and started collecting DVDs.) Joined by our other good friend, Marc Schneider, we went to see the new, edgy, profane and extremely violent homage to pulp by up-and-comer Quentin Tarantino. I was a bit nervous as the movie started because I had never seen anything like it. Neither had anyone else. We watched, amazed, constantly laughing at the sheer audacity of the film. Pulp Fiction became the most influential film of the 90's.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) (Rio Cinemas, Gaithersburg, Maryland) - The same group of Dan, Marc and I were looking forward to this with mixed expectations. It looked like it might be really funny, or really, really bad. To our delight, our expectations were hugely exceeded and we laughed throughout the entire film. Rarely have I laughed so much at a movie. Bizarrely to us, in our theater, we seemed to be the only ones laughing. It was only later that everyone else caught up to us as Austin Powers became a huge hit on DVD and with the sequels.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001 Rio Cinemas, Gaithersburg, Maryland) - Another movie I awaited for years. I followed much of the production through Theonering.net and Aint it Cool News and went into the midnight showing not really knowing what to expect. The Fox Network had aired a ten minute preview some time before and it had just increased my ambivalence. When I returned home around 3AM and laid down in bed, Carol asked me what I thought. "I don't know what to think" I said, still unsure how to deal with this epic, visionary film. Carol, Rachel and I saw it the next day and by the end of that showing, I knew I had seen a masterpiece.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a film or two and there are certainly many honorable mentions. I hope I'll have more to add in the future.

I'll follow up with my list of movies I WISH I had seen in the theater.

I would settle for a snowcone and a merely camouflaged sled

AP News Photo: Graham McGowan sleds down a hill at North Georgia College and State University in Dahlonega, Ga. (AP)


No fair! We can't even get a good snowfall but in Georgia (which is WAY south of us) they have enough snow to use their new Stealth brand Invisible Sleds!