Last week . . . on Survivor

My family has watched Survivor for years now. (Yeah, yeah, I know. Get it out of your system now before proceeding.)

Survivor is actually a really well produced show filmed in exotic locales and the interaction between the players is usually very interesting. Even so, we've pretty much seen it all by this point and were considering dropping it this season. We didn't, though, because last season turned out to be really good and they set this season in China. Ignoring the bizarreness of them having to "survive" on their own in a country with over 1 billion people, the setting was enough to get us tuning in again.

So, the China season started last week. There's a typical mix of contestants including, as required by law, a bartender. There's a professional poker player whose strategy, confided to the camera, is to sleep all day and be grumpy in order to make himself look really weak and lame so that when he starts performing better later, people will want to keep him around. Good luck with that, Einstein.

Then there's Leslie, the "Christian Radio Host" and Sunday school teacher. I suspected she'd be annoying from the first minute and it appears I was right. (Go me!)

As the players arrived in China, they were escorted into a Buddhist temple for a welcome ritual. The host, Jeff Probst, made it clear to the players right off that this was NOT a religious ceremony but a traditional welcome which involved some bowing, chanting etc. Of course, after a couple of minutes, Leslie couldn't take it any more and hightailed it out of there. It was tough to leave, she said, But I did the right thing. (not exact quote)

When questioned afterwards, she justified the rudeness to her hosts with the following:

”I’m not a religious person, but I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, and the only time I’m gonna put my face on the floor is for him.”

Oy. She's not a religious person but has a personal relationship with Jesus. Okaaaay. Apparently this is a common thing said by evangelicals, which doesn't mean it's a smart thing to say.

Hey, I can do it too! I'm not a gamer but I do have an abiding love of games and like to play them at every opportunity. That works. I'm not a racist, but I was shocked at how diners at Sylvia's in Harlem didn't swing on the chandeliers. Yep! Or how about, I'm not a pedophile, but I do love . . . I think you get the point.

On the one hand, Leslie had the courage of her convictions and didn't do something she was uncomfortable with. I guess I can respect that. On the other hand, she was rude to her hosts even though assured it wasn't a religious ritual. I think it very likely that if she had Buddhist guests to her home she would invite them to attend her church and then get pretty upset if they walked out. But I guess that would be okay because her religion is the correct one.

On last night's show, Leslie was upset at one point because she didn't have her Bible. She said she needed to spend some time reading the Bible and being with God. Uh, isn't God supposed to be omnipresent? Isn't she ALWAYS with God? Needing the Bible to commune with God seems to smack of idolatry to me.

Finally, a contestant on the other team, Jamie, was given a clue to an immunity idol hidden in Leslie's camp. Jamie was instructed to give the clue to someone on Leslie's team. As the clue would give that person a huge advantage, Jamie picked someone she thought was a weak player, Leslie.

What did Leslie do? She immediately gave God the credit for Jamie's gift, as if it's inconceivable that Jamie could have thought of it herself. Apparently, God wants Leslie to win Survivor. Of course, whenever Leslie is voted off, she'll declare that it was all due to God's plan.

Leslie may not win Survivor, but for God, it's a win-win situation.

Stupid brutal crackdown :grumble: :grumble:

Myanmar cuts Internet service

Crap. I have a HUGE following in Myanmar.

Not having to tip has saved me 4% on every meal!

Typically, my family goes out to eat two or three times a week and has for many years. The kids know how to behave in a restaurant (with Ben providing some memorable exceptions) and their eclectic tastes always provide amusement for servers and fellow diners. After all, there aren't too many nine year olds who have a favorite sushi and even fewer whose favorite sushi are spicy tuna rolls and octopus.

Since we returned from our summer vacation in mid-August, we haven't gone out to eat once (save for a weekend away in Williamsburg). That's a month and a half of no Old Shanghai, no Outback Steakhouse, no Five Guys, no Taco Bell, no nothing. Wait, that's a double-negative. How about, "no something". Swish!

Carol and I decided that we were spending way too much money at restaurants and a moratorium would allow us to save money and get out of the weekly habit. It's actually gone pretty smoothly and we haven't starved so I'd say the experiment has been a success. And Carol has bought herself some expensive-looking new jewelry and clothing so I guess we saved some money. Awesome!

My goal is to stick with the home food at least through September and then try to go out no more than once a week. We'll see how that goes. I'm a little worried that I'll feel really bad the first time I see a large dinner check and never want to go out again.

Meanwhile, the kids are dying for some spicy tuna rolls. And just writing this post has made me hungry. Stupid moratorium.

But Archduke Ferdinand really fancied me!

Hungary starts licensing prostitutes

In an effort to bring prostitutes into the legal economy, officials said Monday that Hungary will allow sex workers to apply for an entrepreneur's permit _ a move that could generate government revenues from an industry worth an estimated $1 billion annually.

Uh, yeah. Remind me not to visit Hungary on my next business trip.

Quick Review - Across the Universe

Across the Universe

Went to see this over the weekend with a group of good friends and family. Everyone liked it, most more than me. Teen girls will apparently love this. (Note: despite the PG-13 rating, this movie is perfectly fine for teen girls. Rachel's friends weren't allowed to go because of the rating but I think their parents way overreacted.)

The music was very good. Duh, because it was all Beatles' music and was performed quite well. There was more of a storyline than I expected, which was also a bonus. Some scenes fell spectacularly flat (I'm looking at you, Mr. Kite) and the occasional political commentary was ridiculously heavy-handed (i.e. U.S. soldiers in Vietnam carrying the Statue of Liberty while singing "She's So Heavy". Thud.)

A memorable experience but not a movie I'm dying to see again. Alas, both Carol and Rachel proclaimed loudly that we're buying the DVD so I probably won't have much choice.

Let the idiot speak!

With regards to the current back and forth about giving Iranian President Ahmadinejad a platform at Columbia University and elsewhere during his visit to the United States, it seems to me that we are never badly served by allowing speech, however abhorrent. Free speech doesn't mean we have to give this nutjob a podium, but (1) he's a world figure and already has a pretty huge podium whenever he wants to spew his nonsense, and (2) forbidding him to speak (or visit Ground Zero) makes us look like the bad guys. If we really believe in the free exchange of ideas and opinions, we need to live up to it.

Ahmadinejad is clearly crazy and despotic. Exposing his lunacy for all to see doesn't hurt us. Acting like we're the moral police and suggesting we'll shut down anyone we disagree with does hurt us.

Breaking News!

This just in! Iran is the FIRST COUNTRY IN HUMAN HISTORY not to have any homosexuals! Unbelievable. The odds of such a thing happening in a country of 70 million are quite incredible, and yet, it appears to be true.

Asked about widely documented government abuse of women and homosexuals in his country, Ahmadinejad said, "We don't have homosexuals" in Iran. "I don't know who told you we had it," he said. CNN Story

Yeah. Sorry about that. It was me. I told Ahmadinejad that there were homosexuals in Iran. I mean, it just slipped out. My bad.

Anyway, now that we know that Iran has two things American fundamentalists love, other religious fundamentalists and a lack of the gays, I say we start shipping our fundamentalists over there. It's a win-win!

ST: TNG

There's a good list of the "top ten Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes" at Entertainment Weekly. For once, a magazine put together a pretty respectable list without including crappy episodes like "Cause and Effect" which is all setup and no payoff. (Yes, I know it's a fan favorite. It's not one of mine.) I don't disagree with any of these, really. I might rejigger the order and substitute a couple of other episodes. But, well done, EW.

For my money, though, DS9 is the best Trek.

Rachel's Links

Rachel, click the links below and read:

The Jena 6

Stalin (Look on the right of the screen under "Aliases")
- oops. Wrong one.

Stalin

Happy Birthday to My Blog!

Today, September 21, 2007, is the first birthday of this Blog! Hooray!

My first post ever was this example of the utter height of human hilarity: Indiana Jones

This was confusing, of course, because I didn't lay out the "Welcome to my blog" post until a couple of days later. Sue me. (Please don't sue me.)

After I laid out my first few posts, I wasn't sure I'd have anything more to say. I mean, I'm not particularly smart or funny and my personal grooming habits are underdeveloped (at least that's what people tell me). But I have been pleasantly surprised to find that ideas literally pop into my brain all the time! And many of these are actually appropriate to Blog about!

I had many secret objectives when I started this blog. Sadly, I have not realized all of them. For example, my blog has not brought peace throughout the Middle East, although it has pacified Tonga pretty successfully. The blog has not created a rift in the Space-Time Continuum yet, but I'm still hopeful. I haven't posted my 1 millionth post, but I'm sure I'll hit that by December as I'm up to 236 now. Finally, I don't have numerous, all-female, fan clubs who hold "A Taste of Ipecac" conventions and offer to pay me large sums of money to appear. But maybe that's just as well.

In closing, I'd like to thank everyone who reads this blog and especially those who comment on my inane blathering (except, of course, those people who disagree with me. You can bite me.) Teh Intarwebs are a great place to be and I'm happy to contribute to this tiny corner of it.

Pres. Bush is very s-m-r-t. I mean, s-m-a-r-t.

I was going to lay off the President for awhile but he makes it SO hard.

President Bush talks up his grade in Economics.

"You need to talk to economists," he answered when asked if there was a risk of recession in the US economy. "I think I got a B in Econ 101. "

Bush actually got a C-, according to his transcripts.

Now I'm not going to make fun of Bush misremembering his grade because I certainly can't remember too many of my individual grades. And he did say that he "thinks" he got a B.

But here's his next sentence:

"I got an A however in keeping taxes low, and being fiscally responsible with the people's money."

Yeah. Right. Apparently he deserves a D in facing reality.

I imagine Bush would also give himself an A in improving Iraq, an A in being a "uniter" and an A in not flushing America's prestige down the toilet. He's a great student in his own mind.

Please don't interrupt me while I'm not talking

I'm out jogging at lunch today, feelin' fine. I round a corner of the Mall and ahead there's a group of about eight tourists. As I'm jogging past, one of the guys raises his finger (the "excuse me" index finger, not the middle finger) and ASKS ME FOR DIRECTIONS. From what I can hear through the music playing on my headphones, he wants to know where they can get something to eat.

I'm completely flabbergasted.

I mean, I'm wearing shorts, a t-shirt, an Ipod and RUNNING past them. I'm not wearing a red jacket and I'm not on a leisurely stroll. I am exercising, an activity that would have to stop for me to engage them. And it's not like I'm the only guy on the Mall.

As I continued on without stopping, I motioned at my headphones and said, "I can't hear you." Not the best answer as it doesn't excuse the rudeness of ignoring them. A better answer would have been, "Sorry, I can't stop," but I don't think of that right away because I AM FRICKIN RUNNING HERE!

Of course I then feel bad because I blew them off. Typically, I quite enjoy helping tourists as it makes the city more friendly for them. My bad feelings didn't linger, though, because, after all, they were the ones violating the social contract. My part of the contract is that I don't sweat on you or crash into you as I run by. All everyone else has to do is not talk to me.

Hello! I mean, "Arrrrr!"

Ye scurvy bilge-rat, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Republican contenders: "We don't like you. Please vote for us."

Key Republican leaders are encouraging the party's presidential candidates to rethink their decision to skip presidential debates focusing on issues important to minorities, fearing a backlash that could further erode the party's standing with black and Latino voters. Debate no-shows worry GOP leaders

Whoa! You mean being openly contemptuous of certain groups of people and ignoring their invitations to speak may turn them against you? What a shock!

Seriously, at this point it seems like the Republicans are actively trying to lose the 2008 election.

Most. Humiliating. Death. Ever.

Sheesh, what an embarassing way to go. Killed by an armless guy who isn't even Jack Bauer. I mean, you'd expect it if the guy with no arms was Jack Bauer, but this guy wasn't.

Man killed by armless neighbor

And they were fighting over a woman. So this guy had his woman stolen by an armless guy who then killed him. I imagine that if he could talk, he'd say forget the tombstone, at this point I'd just as soon not be remembered.

With a name like Viggo, no wonder he's insane

The Colbert Report

It's odd that he didn't use the same inflections he did in Fellowship.

Baseball!

A couple of years ago, we were surprised when Ben chose baseball as his sport of choice. Because of his slight autism, Ben isn't really known as a "team player". Still, despite never watching a game completely through, he wanted to play baseball.

We signed him up for the local league and he did really well for a couple of seasons of coach-pitch. He loved the game, was making friends and achieved his long-held dream of winning a trophy. Unfortunately, kid-pitch wasn't so kind (note: kids suck at pitching) and after Ben got hit by a pitch, he became too anxious to continue playing.

Surprisingly, Ben still has some interest in the game. Every summer we go to at least one game of the local minor league team, the Frederick Keys, but we've never taken the kids to a major league game and Ben has been wanting to go. So, Friday night after work I met the family on the Metro and we went to watch the Nationals play the Braves at RFK stadium.

On a side note, RFK is an old but decent stadium built in 1961 during the era when stadium design seemed to consist of pouring a lot of concrete into a bowl shape and installing seats. I guess it was cheap to build them that way but the contrast to modern stadium design is glaring. The new Nationals stadium opening next year should be spectacular.

The game itself was good despite the constant rain. (We relocated under the partial roof and so were spared a soaking.) The Braves scored three runs in the first inning but the Nationals kept at them, scoring three runs over three different innings to tie the game. Then, during the seventh, the Nationals took the lead 5-3. Sadly, they weren't able to maintain it and after the Braves scored a run in the eighth and one in the ninth, the score was tied at 5-5 going into the bottom of the ninth.

Things quickly looked good during the ninth innnng. The Nationals filled the bases with only one out. Any hit or a sacrifice fly would win the game for the Nats. Pinch hitter Tony Batista then struck out and with two outs, things suddenly looked bleak. Could no one save the Nats?

We were sitting in an uncrowded section of the stands but I could hear people whispering around me. "Help us, Jesus," they were saying. Their entreaties did not fall on deaf ears. Jesus "took the wheel" and stepped up to the plate.

Jesus Flores, the catcher, is apparently a good hitter. I'm not a particularly knowledgeable baseball fan so I tried very hard to have faith in Jesus. Surely he would save us.

The crowd was on their feet with excitement. You could see the question on everyone's lips. What would Jesus do? Praying for a hit, the multitudes were ready to praise Jesus. Unfortunately, with bases loaded and two outs, Jesus popped out. I thought the crowd was about to crucify the poor guy. The game went into extra innings.

As it was late, we watched one more inning and left at the end of the tenth with the game still tied. On the Metro ride home, once we left the tunnels I monitored the game stats on my Blackberry and was surprised to find them still playing the 13th inning! It was kind of cool getting updated play-by-play via Blackberry.

At the top of the 13th, Jesus returned. Relief pitcher Jesus Colome has many saves to his credit. Many fans think the guy walks on water. Once more the game was on the line and Jesus could damn the team or be the saviour. Alas, Jesus gave up three runs and the Nationals lost 8 to 5.

It was a great night and we all (except maybe Rachel who is too cool for baseball) had a good time. Ben was incredibly attentive to the game and cheered louder than anyone for the Nats. Literally. That kid really has a loud voice.

As for me? Despite my faith, Jesus let me down twice in one night.

Maybe I should get interested in basketball instead. I've been hearing good things about Nazr Mohammed of the Detroit Pistons . . .

Have you seen me?

Click image to embiggen.

Geez, we're stupid

Majority of Americans think Founders wanted Christian USA

Most Americans believe the nation's founders wrote Christianity into the Constitution, and people are less likely to say freedom to worship covers religious groups they consider extreme, a poll out today finds.

The survey measuring attitudes toward freedom of religion, speech and the press found that 55% believe erroneously that the Constitution establishes a Christian nation.

Note the "erroneously". For once, the press got it right.

Most of the readers of this blog understand that Christianity is not written into the Constitution. In case you do, here is the reality.

NOWHERE in the Constitution do the following words appear:

Jesus
God
Christ
Christian
Christianity

Don't believe me, check it out for yourself - The Constitution of the United States

If the Founders had wanted to establish a Christian nation, it would have been incredibly simple.

We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union based on the Christian religion, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America, under the dominion of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

That's all there would have been to it. Simple and unambiguous. Instead, they did the exact opposite, including this clause under Article VI:

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

Doesn't really gibe with an official Christian religion, does it?

There's also that pesky First Amendment to the Constitution which guarantees reglious freedom:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

So, why would the Founders not make the US a Christian nation? They were all Christians, right?

Wrong. While many of the Founding Fathers were Christian, many were Deists, believing in an uninvolved creator, more a hands-off kind of god, and not Jesus. Plus, many people came to America to escape the state religions of Europe. They came here for religious freedom.

These results really scare me:

Most respondents, 58%, say teachers in public schools should be allowed to lead prayers. That is an increase from 2005, when 52% supported teacher-led prayer in public schools.

Half say teachers should be allowed to use the Bible as a factual text in history class.

I wonder how those results might change if people were asked if teachers should lead Catholic prayers. Or Baptist prayers. Or Mormon prayers. It's easy to say you support teacher-lead prayers until you find out they're not praying using your specific beliefs. As far as teaching the Bible as factual history, there's not much else to do but shake my head in disgust.

What these "Christian nation" people don't seem to understand is that keeping the government OUT of religion benefits religion just as much as it benefits the government and every U.S. citizen.

The poll results above aren't surprising. But they're very sad. They demonstrate how uneducated most Americans are about our Constitution, our laws, and our traditions. They demonstrate that the people who often proclaim their patriotism the loudest, know the least about what it really means to be an American.

Mr. President, you should also ignore that whole global warming thing, too.

Woo hoo! Finally, the President is listening to the people of the United States!

President Bush has announced that he will reduce troop levels in Iraq!

By next summer.

To the pre-Surge level.

If certain conditions are met.

So, in other words, when it became clear that a majority of Americans wanted the 130,000 troops in Iraq brought home, the President sent 30,000 additional troops to Iraq (the "Surge"). Now he's finally saying he will bring the troops home, but only 30,000 and in another eleven months or so, and only if the Iraqis get their act together. Yeah, okay. That sounds like what we wanted.

Maybe we should use the Brer Rabbit trick and tell him we want all the troops sent to Iraq. Seems to me his natural response would be to bring them home.

Sleeping with a zombie (arm)

So I woke up this morning around 4:20 and was pretty happy. After all, "Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding you still have two hours left to sleep," a mantra I've lived by for over 30 years. I was especially happy because I actually had 2 hours and 40 minutes left to sleep. I shifted position and zonked back out.

An hour later I woke up to a discomfort I haven't felt in a long time. I had been laying on my left arm and it was completely asleep. Completely dead would probably be more accurate. I couldn't move it, of course, so I reached under my pillow with my right arm. Thinking my left arm was in the 1 o'clock position, I was highly disturbed when my right hand prematurely encountered my dead limb in the 3 o'clock position. I was just not prepared to feel this lifeless cold hand laying there. Brrr!

I moved my left arm then and the tingling started. Ahh! In another minute life had returned and I fell back asleep.

Once I woke up, I was curious about how long I would have to be in such a state for permanent injury to my arm. I was surprised to find that limbs falling asleep can be due to lack of blood flow or because of the compression of nerves, disrupting communication between the limb and the brain. I always thought it was just about blood flow. The good news is that your limb would have to be "asleep" for several hours to suffer permanent damage.

Fortunately for me this morning, had my zombie arm desired to eat brains, none were to be found nearby.

9/11 and the Culture of Fear

Six years ago this morning, I was at work in downtown DC watching the horrific events unfolding in New York on a television in a nearby conference room when the windows in the room rattled loudly. I figured it was a large truck rumbling by, although I'd never noticed such rattling before. Of course, I was wrong.

Minutes later, the newscaster broke in to say that there was an explosion at the Pentagon's heliport. What they were describing sounded fairly small and, since the true scope of what was happening was so slow to sink in, despite the rattling windows, it was easily dismissed as another false or overblown report among many that were coming in that morning.

More minutes later, with new information that a large plane had actually struck the Pentagon, we looked out of the windows of another office and could see confirmation of the scale of the attack: a large column of dark smoke rising from across the Potomac. The word came down, "Go home." We evacuated and began the long, chaotic journey home.

America and the world responded magnificently in the days that followed 9/11/2001. There's a true story about an encounter between the U.S.S. Winston Churchill and a German destroyer that nearly makes me cry every time I read it. For a brief period, the world was with us and we realized an unprecedented opportunity to fight terrorism. A brilliant campaign in Afghanistan, supported by the International community, routed the terrorists responsible for the 9/11 attack and went a long way towards establishing a model democracy in the Middle East.

But then everything changed. The Iraq war and its mishandling made sure of that.

For the past six years, America has lived as a culture of fear. Fear of another attack. A nameless fear of anything that's not American. Alert levels. Fight them over there so we won't fight them here. Questioning the patriotism of anyone who disagrees with the government. If you don't elect Republicans, the terrorists win. This fear has been encouraged by the Administration, who have used the fear as an excuse for their own power grabs, limiting civil liberties and ignoring international law. For six years, EVERYTHING has been about the fear. This will be the most damaging legacy of the Bush administration.

USA Today ran a headline yesterday, Is 9/11 Becoming Just Another Calendar Date? This is a profoundly stupid question. 9/11 was a defining moment in American history and I doubt many Americans alive that day will ever forget where they were and what they were doing when the world changed. But it's necessary and healthy for people to move on, for Americans to look forward to new challenges. A life lived in fear is not much of a life.

This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. - FDR's first inaugural address, 1933.

Of course there are still people out there who want to kill us. Of course we must remain vigilant and defend our nation against attack. But we must do so while preserving those things that make America great. We don't win by throwing out the Constitution to create an illusion of safety. We don't win by living out the remainder of our lives in fear. If we don't reject the culture of fear, then the terrorists truly have won.

I work in a city that's either number one or number two on the hit list of every anti-American terrorist in the world. There's a non-negligible chance that I will come in to work one day and be vaporized in a mushroom cloud. Or irradiated by a dirty bomb. That's reality.

I can always quit my job and move to the country. Or I can keep my job and be afraid all the time. Six years into the culture of fear, I choose neither.

I choose to reclaim my life and reject the fear.

Days of Prayer and Remembrance

A minister recently called for Days of Prayer and Remembrance to commemorate the sixth anniversary of 9/11:

We remain a hopeful America, inspired by the kindness and compassion of our citizens and our commitment to freedom and opportunity. During these days of prayer and remembrance, we reflect on all we have lost and take comfort in each other and in the grace and mercy of our Creator. May God guide us, give us strength and wisdom, and may He continue to bless our great country.
. . .
I ask that the people of the United States and their places of worship mark these National Days of Prayer and Remembrance with memorial services, the ringing of bells, and evening candlelight remembrance vigils. I also invite the people of the world to share in these Days of Prayer and Remembrance.

Oh, wait, that wasn't a minister but the FRICKIN' PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

Is he even capable of not invoking his god in every single speech? Doesn't he represent the tens of millions of Americans who don't believe in his god? Or the tens of millions of religious folk who don't want the President of the United States to be the national minister-in-chief? How about throwing a secular bone out once in a while?

I know, I know. Why should I expect anything different? Most Americans are Christians, he's just speaking their language, yadda, yadda, yadda.

The Presidency of the United States is not a religious position, but a secular one. I just wish our current President knew this.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Coming in May, 2008.

Indiana Jones official site

We humans do love our skulls. I look forward to the day when we revere other (non-reproductive-related) body parts as much.

"Indiana Jones and the Crystal Adrenal Gland" would rule!

No, no! You're doing it all wrong!

A recent mechanical problem with state-run Nepal Airlines' only airplane was handled by sacrificing a pair of goats to the Hindu Sky God, Akash Bhairab. The plane then went on to resume flights.

Goats die, so you can fly!

What's wrong with these people? Don't they realize that they're doing it all wrong?

First off, Akash Bhairab? Are they kidding? What a poser. That guy couldn't fix a plane even if he had all four of Vishnu's arms.

They should have prayed directly to one of the patron saints of flying, Joseph of Cupertino, Our Lady of Loreto or Therese of Lisieux. Personally, with my life on the line, I would have gone straight to praying to Jesus, but that's just me.

Second, if you are going to sacrifice an animal, you have to do it the RIGHT way. Haven't these people ever read Leviticus?

1:10 And if his offering be of the flocks, namely, of the sheep, or of the goats, for a burnt sacrifice; he shall bring it a male without blemish.

1:11 And he shall kill it on the side of the altar northward before the LORD: and the priests, Aaron's sons, shall sprinkle his blood round about upon the altar.

1:12 And he shall cut it into his pieces, with his head and his fat: and the priest shall lay them in order on the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar:

1:13 But he shall wash the inwards and the legs with water: and the priest shall bring it all, and burn it upon the altar: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

I don't see any indication in the article that the Nepalese did ANY of these things. Are they insane or just terribly reckless?

Uh oh. Reading the book of Isaiah has me confused:

1:11 To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto me? saith the LORD: I am full of the burnt offerings of rams, and the fat of fed beasts; and I delight not in the blood of bullocks, or of lambs, or of he goats.

Crap. I guess maybe they should have just brought in a mechanic.

If Iris Anderson doesn't pray, the terrorists win

76 year old woman found after two weeks in wilderness

A 76-year-old woman missing for almost two weeks in the Wallowa Mountains of Eastern Oregon has been found alive, the Baker County Sheriff's Office said Thursday.

Ora Doris Anderson of Sandy had a hip injury and was dehydrated when she was found just after 2 p.m. But she was conscious and alert, the sheriff's office said in a news release.

I'm glad this story ended happily. It certainly is rather remarkable, but not beyond what we know the human body is capable of surviving. The woman's sister-in-law, however, sees it differently:

Iris Anderson said Harold and the couple's two daughters were also starting to lose hope, especially when the search got scaled back.

"I think he kind of reconciled that she was gone and in heaven with her son who died years ago," she said.

But Iris Anderson said she had a strong sense that Doris was alive, but hidden in the brush. She lit candles and asked to God to help.

"My prayers are always answered, always," she said.

Really? Always answered? So when are you going to get us out of a peaceful Iraq? How about a cure for AIDS and cancer? An end to child suffering? If you need more candles, I'd be happy to send you some.

Come on, lady, get praying!

Well, at least the Korean War is going better than the Iraq War

I knew that we ended the Korean War with a truce, but I didn't realize that even today, 55 years or so later, we're technically STILL AT WAR WITH NORTH KOREA. This came up today as Bush met with South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun, who asked Bush to declare an end to the war, leading to this surreal quote from Bush:

We look forward to the day when we can end the Korean War.

Bush said that the war will end when North Korea gets rid of their nuclear program.

While seeming an insurmountable obstacle, getting North Korea to capitulate will be far easier than President Bush has realized. Simply threaten to send Alan Alda and Mike Farrell back to Korea and Kim Jong Il will do whatever Bush asks. Even Kim Jong Il isn't crazy enough to ignore that threat.

Brownback's idea to stop terror? Encourage everyone to become a terrorist!

Ooh, yet another reason from Senator Sam "I don't believe in evolution" Brownback to not allow gay marriage. Apparently, allowing millions of gays to get married will cause FEWER people to get married.

Hitting on another socially sensitive topic, Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback received a mix of applause and boos when he said he supports a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

"When you do these vast, social experiments — and that's what this is, when you redefine marriage — it's a vast, social experiment. They're not done in isolation. They impact the rest of the culture around you. When you take the sacredness out of marriage, you will drive the marriage rates down," he said. Republican Debate.

Yes! Marriage has nothing to do with universal human desires and needs. It has nothing to do with the cooperative benefits of creating a family.

People only get married because it's like an exclusive country club. If just anyone can get into that club, why would I want to join? Sure, half of all people who get into the country club quit at some point. And, sure, completely ignorant, immature and immoral folk can get into the club so long as they meet the entry requirements (differing genitalia), but that doesn't matter. It's the exclusivity that counts! If it's no longer exclusive, why would anyone want to do it?

I've seen the light! The Senator has convinced me with this brilliant argument. Excelsior!

He was great, but did he ever save the Queen?

Luciano Pavarotti dead at 71.

The opera world was dealt a devastating blow today with the death of famed tenor Luciano Pavarotti. Pavarotti's death leaves only a few modern opera singers who are generally considered "great" including Placido Domingo, Jose Carreras, and of course, the immortal Enrico Palazzo.


Enrico Palazzo! Enrico Palazzo! Enrico Palazzo!

Cutest Puppy Ever!

Okay, this one is for Rachel.

Puppy with heart-shaped birthmark.

Given the approximately one trillion puppies born every year*, such a birthmark is statistically certain to occur. Admittedly, a puppy with a club or diamond shape birthmark would be even cuter, but what can you do?

Awwwwww.

*made up number.