Giuliani: Madman or just stupid?

"This is the world we live in. It's not this happy, romantic-like world where we'll negotiate with this one, or we'll negotiate with that one and there will be no preconditions, and we'll invite (Iranian President Mahmoud) Ahmadinejad to the White House, we'll invite Osama (bin Laden) to the White House," Giuliani said.

"Hillary and Obama are kind of debating whether to invite them to the inauguration or the inaugural ball," he added. Rudy Giuliani

This idea is brilliant in its simplicity! Giuliani is right, I must vote for either Clinton or Obama. When Osama Bin Laden comes to the inaugural ball, we can grab him!

I can't believe the Bush Administration never considered this. Certainly Osama couldn't resist an invitation to the Oscars. Or maybe the Indy 500 is more his style. The White House Easter Egg Roll?

Oh, wait, I forgot that they moved "finding Osama Bin Laden" down their To Do list. They plan to get to it right after item # 4567, "Give Michael Moore a foot massage."

Waah! Crybabies.

Whining about The Golden Compass.

Gee, assuming that the film does have a super-secret Atheist agenda, that would make the score, what?

"Atheism" films - 22
"Christianity" films - 331

Christianity will certainly be reeling from this awesome attack.

This part is hilarious:

These books denigrate Christianity, thrash the Catholic Church and sell the virtues of atheism," said Bill Donohue, president and CEO of the Catholic League.

The film itself is unlikely to offend — because New Line Cinema has tried to keep religion out of it, focusing on the story of a little girl named Lyra and her journey to a strange, parallel universe.
. . .
But the removal of the Godless themes from the movie has some Christian organizations seething.

"They’re intentionally watering down the most offensive element,” Donohue said. “I'm not really concerned about the movie, [which] looks fairly innocuous. The movie is made for the books. ... It's a deceitful, stealth campaign. Pullman is hoping his books will fly off the shelves at Christmastime."

So if the atheism is up-front, he's okay with it. If it's hidden, then he fears it. Okay . . . I also note that he thinks atheism has "virtues". Sweet.

Evangelical groups like The Christian Film and Television Commission, run by Ted Baehr, and James Dobson's Focus on the Family say they're taking a wait-and-see approach to the movie, although Baehr has plenty to say about the literary version of the series. (Both Baehr and Donohue say they've read "The Golden Compass" and had staff members read the other two.)

"I don't think a boycott will be effective. We have to see the film before we make that evaluation," Baehr said. "We'll put out writings on the book. Children who buy into this are going to be trapped in a sad, desperate world."

Yes, the sad desperate world of literature that isn't Christian allegory. How sad for those children who read these wonderful books.

Woo hoo! From my favoritest group!

Finally!

B-52's first new album in 16 years!

About dang time.

You're Dead, Jim!

Sheesh.

Shatner wants to know why he's not in new Trek film.

"I couldn't believe it. I'm not in the movie at all. Leonard, God bless his heart, is in, but not me," Shatner, 76, told The Associated Press on Thursday.

From what little I know of the plot, Leonard Nimoy is playing Ambassador Spock in the 24th century looking back on his past with Kirk and the Enterprise. Thus, Leonard Nimoy can logically play older Spock. Older Kirk, however, was killed in the late 23rd century and so CAN'T APPEAR IN THE NEW TREK FILM WITHOUT A LOT OF TEDIOUS AND CONTRIVED EXPLANATION.

And the last thing we need in a new Trek film is contrivance and tedium.

I'll take "Formerly Great Countries with Lots of Morons" for $1000, Alex

One third of Americans believe in ghosts.

One third of Americans approve of President Bush's performance.

'Nuff said.




(Oh, and definitely check out this article from the geniuses at This Old House: What to do if your house has ghosts.)

If skulls, dragons or roses come out of the closet, the tattoo industry will collapse

Ooooo. Yeah. Um . . . er. Yeah.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

TV Update

The family and I watch a good amount of TV. Consequently, there are always several different storylines I'm following from week to week. Two of late, romantic in nature, deserve comment.

The Office
One of the nicest things about The Office is the Pam and Jim romance. Their story is nothing new to television; we've seen it before - from Sam & Diane to Dave & Maddie to Ross & Rachel to Ginger & Mary Ann (hey, a guy can dream). Pam and Jim are smart, very likable and deserve to be together. And now, after two seasons of unrequited love, they are dating and it's paying huge dividends to the show.

Unfortunately, when TV brings characters like this together, most of the producers in Hollywood seem unable to keep from splitting them apart (no doubt due to their own commitment issues), usually to the shows detriment. It's a weird ritual of self-mutilation and usually backfires. For example, after finally bringing Friends' Ross & Rachel together, they were broken up under very contrived circumstances less than a season later, creating resonating story problems. Frickin' Mad About You nearly broke up Paul & Jamie and the show was never as good.

The producers of The Office are very savvy. I am really hoping they'll let Pam and Jim continue to do their thing until the show ends.

Pushing Daisies
This wonderful show continues to kick major butt week after week (which is a weird thing to say about such a whimsical program). ABC has realized it has a winner on its hands and PD has been picked up for the rest of the season. Hooray!

Two things concern me. One, they seem to be pushing the Chuck/Ned relationship ahead very quickly rather than play it out slowly. That's okay, because it's so unbelievably cute and warm, but it makes me a little uneasy.

My other concern is the narrator's interchangeable use of the terms "homeopathic" and "herbal" medicines. Herbal medicines could have some affect on a person. Homeopathic medicines could not, unless our understanding of chemistry is completely wrong. It bothers me that the writers are being so sloppy. Then again, they did correctly use "Occam's Razor" in this week's show, so maybe the writers do know the difference and there will be some unexpected payoff.

Battlestar Galactica
One very unfortunate development. BG's fourth and final season will not air on Sci Fi until April of 2008. Noooooooo! In the meantime, the tele-movie BG: Razor will premier on Nov. 24. That will have to tide us over.

Think Atheists can't be moral?

The idea that atheists can't be moral or are inherently less moral than believers is nonsense.

Atheists aren't a bad lot by Dan Gardner

. . . now everyone knows a few atheists who are not lying, thieving, murderous wretches. They work. They pay taxes. They have kids and don't beat them or sell them for medical experiments. How can this be?

. . . Say you covet your neighbour's cave. You could just smash his skull and move in. But you need your neighbour's help in the mammoth hunt. And besides, if you smash his skull and take his cave, someone else might get the same idea. So in the long run, both your neighbour and you will be better off if everybody agrees it is wrong to smash thy neighbour's skull.

Humans who learned to restrain themselves prospered. Those who didn't vanished. Over time, the internalized rules we call morality became hard-wired instinct.

That instinct remains no matter what we believe about invisible spirits. And its force is not diminished by recognizing its origins in biology: We can no more choose not to feel moral impulses than we can choose not to feel sexual desire.

This is a good, concise article, well worth a read. Finally, some are publicly debunking this hoary old idea that most people accept as true without a second thought. Or even a first thought.

Let's see the farmer's wife cut off their tails now!

Justice is Blind, indeed.

Guiliani says the blind should be able to carry guns

I certainly am not in favor of limiting the rights of others (unlike all the Republican candidates) but really? Blind people should have guns? With bullets?

He added that he believes in only three restrictions for those wishing to exercise their Second Amendment right — a previous criminal record, a history of mental instability and an age requirement.

Not being able to see the target (or anything else in the line of fire) doesn't make his top three restrictions? Maybe top five?

I'm Sure Elijah Wouldn't Have Minded

Over the past fifty years, there were four serious attempts by Hollywood to adapt The Lord of the Rings, only two of which made it to film: Ralph Bakshi's 1978 version; and, of course, Peter Jackson's triumphant trilogy.

The other two serious attempts (not including the Beatles' desire to make the movie with Paul McCartney as Frodo), didn't make it beyond a script. This is probably a good thing. The really interesting article below summarizes the first two attempts, by Morton Grady Zimmerman in 1957, and John Boorman (who went on to direct Excalibur) in 1970, as well as the first drafts of the script that became Bakshi's movie.

Had these scripts been made, we would have seen such wondrous sights as:

Gandalf turning the Nazgul to stone!

Gimli stuck in a hole and beaten by the Fellowship!

Frodo and Galadriel . . . uh . . . getting to know each other better!

Yes, all this and more is explained, here.

HP Update

No, not Hewlett-Packard. Harry Potter.

I started re-reading the seventh book a couple of days ago. Given the speed with which I read "The Deathly Hallows" when it came out, I'm seeing a lot of detail I don't remember. That says a lot for the depth of the book.

While the first and second book make it seem like Hogwarts is the focus of the tale, the story gradually moves into other territory and the seventh book makes it clear that the focus of the story was never about a boy going to a school, but about a boy growing up to fight evil. Even when it didn't seem to, the story was about Harry fighting Voldemort. Once that moment finally arrives in earnest, Hogwarts has become a prize that has been lost and must be regained.

This time through, I appreciated the sixth book, "The Half-Blood Prince", more than on previous readings. It's a deep breath before the plunge and explores many of the characters, especially Voldemort, in much greater depth before all-out wizard war ensues. It's a remarkably subtle and quiet story considering all that has come before.

Reading all seven books back to back has been a really enjoyable experience.

This is just wrong

Anyway you slice it, this is really, really disturbing.

Pint-Size Preachers

[Seven year old] Samuel is a Baptist preacher at a church in his home town of Brookhaven, a small town in southwestern Mississippi. He also preaches outside in front of the local Wal-Mart, and has preached on the road in Virginia, Louisiana, Tennessee, Washington D.C., and the streets of New York City.

Looking at this from another angle, who wants a seven year old telling them how to live their life? Are people really this stupid?

I feel very sorry for these children and have nothing but contempt for their addled-brained parents who would use and abuse them in this way.

Thanks to Atheist Revolution for highlighting this story.

You mean you guys don't believe in Jesus?

Rice Draws on "Spiritual Passion" in Quest for Peace.

I'm all for renewed efforts for Mideast peace. The Administration has dropped this particular ball (okay, they've dropped all the balls) so anything they can do that doesn't involve invading and occupying is welcome. But why "spiritual passion"? How about a "passion to help others"? Or a "passion to do the right thing"? Or a "passion for peace"? Does she really need God to tell her that she should be passionate about peace anywhere?

Making a point of your spiritual passion for your "Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ" in a zone defined by horrific religious conflict between Jews and Muslims seems about as smart as wearing a pro-NAMBLA t-shirt to a daycare center run by Hell's Angels.

Oy vey, stop giving them reasons to complain!

Disney removes the phrase "chosen by God" from an ad about a new movie version of "The Ten Commandments".

Radio Disney was to broadcast a radio spot for Promenade Pictures, makers of the film "The Ten Commandments," but the company sent an e-mail earlier this month instructing that the phrase "chosen by God" be stripped from the script.

Okay, now that seems pretty unnecessary and stupid of Disney. It's just asking for trouble, as many people with little sense and lots of time are going to complain loud and hard about how this is another mortal blow to Christianity.

In response, Disney does make one good point, however. Here's the script of the ad:

Narrator: One of the greatest stories of all time is now an animated movie event for the entire family ... "The Ten Commandments."

God: Moses, give them my message and they will follow you out of Egypt.

Narrator: An ordinary man, an extraordinary calling.

Moses: Let my people go!

Narrator: With Ben Kingsley, Christian Slater, Alfred Molina and Elliott Gould. ... chosen by God.

Moses: On to the promised land!

Narrator: 'The Ten Commandments,' Rated G. Now in theaters. Check your local listings.

The edited version takes out "chosen by God".

Here's the valid point, made by Disney:

Radio Disney has said in other media reports that it made the request because its policies require mention of the studio in its commercials and it decided to replace the "chosen by God" phrase with "from Promenade Pictures" because the original script made it sound as though the actors were chosen by God, not Moses, as was the intended meaning.

I think this is a perfectly valid point. It's pretty clear, whatever religion you are, that if God were choosing actors, unless he is truly evil, he sure wouldn't choose Christian Slater to play Moses.

Halloween Approacheth!

Ah, my second-favorite holiday draws nie.

Last year, we greatly increased our Halloween terror-threat level and created the Haunted Forest. We are hoping its success will lead to more Trick-or-Treaters this year because volume is the only way to make any money in this business.

We're planning an even more ambitious forest and have been purchasing more fiendishly horrific Halloween props to entertain the local rugrat population. Most promisingly for me, we bought a timer for our fog machine so that I don't have to manually push the button to release the fog every couple of minutes. Sweet!

Pictures to follow once the horrifying day has come.

Deny this!

A dangerous germ that has been spreading around the country causes more life-threatening infections than public health authorities had thought and is killing more people in the United States each year than the AIDS virus, federal health officials reported yesterday.

The microbe, a strain of a once innocuous staph bacterium that has become invulnerable to first-line antibiotics, is responsible for more than 94,000 serious infections and nearly 19,000 deaths each year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calculated. Washington Post Story

First of all, Yikes.

Second of all, how did the germ "become invulnerable to first-line antibiotics"? It evolved. Antibiotics were used against the germs, killing most of them. Those that survived were the ones more resistant to the antibiotics. Their descendant germs inherited this resistance. Antibiotics killed most of that generation, those that survived were even more resistant, passing this improved resistance down the line. Repeat until you have a germ invulnerable to antibiotics.

Proof of evolution.

(Of course, fundamentalists will acknowledge "micro" evolution, but will say there is no such thing as "macro" evolution, by which they mean "human evolution". This is a nonsense distinction and is quite wrong.)

And . . . here's your cast!

Here's the cast of the J.J. Abrams (Lost, Alias) directed Star Trek reboot coming to theatres next year. (No joke.)

James T. Kirk - Chris Pine (Smokin' Aces)
Spock - Zachary Quinto (24, Heroes)
McCoy - Karl Urban (Lord of the Rings - Eomer!)
Montgomery Scott - Simon Pegg (Hot Fuzz, Mission Impossible III)
Hikaru Sulu - Jon Cho (Harold & Kumar)
Pavel Chekov - Anton Yelchin (lots of TV shows)
Nyota Uhura - Zoe Saldana (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl)
Nero (villain) - Eric Bana (The Incredible Hulk, Troy)

I have huge reservations about this project, but that's a pretty good cast.

Chapter the Nineteenth: In Which I Look Like a Wussy Little Fraidy Cat

All right, here's the post where I look like a big wuss. I freely admit it. I don't like conflict (petrified of conflict might be a better way to say it) and any resolution to this problem seems to require conflict.

I host a Games Club of Maryland (GCOM) game night at the local Borders Bookstore Cafe a couple of times a month, playing from 6PM to their closing time of 10PM. We started with a group of about five people and over the past three years have grown to a regular attendance of twelve to fifteen, with our record being eighteen people. That's a LOT of people to find tables for in the small cafe, but it's not a problem I mind. :-)

Since we absolutely have to be out of the store by 10PM, we usually play shorter games because it sucks to invest 90 minutes into a game and not be able to finish it. What's more, the majority of our players are relatively new to gaming and don't have an extensive repertoire of game experience. While we are always open to repeat plays of something they've learned, we do try to introduce the group to new games every session.

As our group expanded, one night into our lives came a woman I'll call Troy (not her real name, duh). Troy is a reasonably experienced gamer and plays pretty well. When she first showed up a couple of years ago, the group was still small and we were glad to have her there. That is, until one night when we were holding a special "host's choice" night where we picked one game and played it as part of a GCOM-wide tournament. We picked the awesome game Amun Re and played two games, one starting at 7:00PM and the other at 8:30. We delayed starting the latter game as long as possible in case more people showed up.

Of course, Troy showed up at 9:15, 45 minutes before closing time, and when we politely said we wouldn't start a new game of Amun Re, she lost it. She yelled at us for not keeping our word, told us how awful we were and then stormed off. Of course, she ignored the basic reality of the situation which is that IT'S NOT POSSIBLE TO SET UP AND FINISH A GAME OF AMUN RE IN 45 MINUTES! She came back a little bit later, slightly calmed down, but we never looked at her the same way again. Afterwards, she complained to the GCOM board about us. They wisely ignored her complaint as irrational.

It was then I made my mistake. I should have told her right then to never come back. (To be fair to me, we didn't really expect her to come back.) Some weeks later, to our utter surprise, she came back. Not every session, but often enough. Upon further contact, while there hasn't been a repeat of the Amun Re incident, we (not just me) realized that she is pushy, quick to accuse someone of cheating (a big gaming no-no), way too intense for what we're doing and wants to play the same five games every week; games she just happens to carry in her car. Carol thinks she is probably autistic.

Well, after a recent, stress-free, six month absence, Troy started coming again and has attended the last three sessions. Last night, with eight players and an hour to go, I was trying to set up two four player games. Troy wanted to play Werewolf. No way, I told her, in good humor. Not in a public place with a bunch of people who have never played before. It was just not an appropriate venue, not to mention it can take longer than an hour and players are eliminated and thus, not playing anything. After several minutes wasted discussing this, she then went down the rest of her usual list. Shadows Over Camelot? Puerto Rico? Great games, to be sure, but I, not for the first time, told her that we couldn't finish either game in an hour (or likely even two hours). She finally noticed On the Underground and we got three others to play with her while I played Cartagena with Ben and the rest (yes, the Professor and Mary Ann were both there).

So, you might ask, why not just give her the boot? Tell her she's no longer welcome?

I really don't think that would be appropriate right now. Sure, she's annoying (and if it's a form of autism, I'm very sympathetic), but I can't kick her out of a public group for being annoying. Plenty of other people in the group can be annoying, including me. If this was a private group, there's no question she wouldn't be invited back. But GCOM is supposed to be open for everyone.

Before last night, I had resolved to do my best to overlook her anti-social tendencies and not let them bother me. I feel bad for her and would like to welcome her if we can just get over the behavior issues. Now I don't know if I can; something has to be done before she starts hurting attendance. This problem isn't beyond my talents, there's certainly something I can do to resolve this.

The obvious thing would be to just talk with her to discourage her from coming. Explain that she's too intense for what is a very casual group. There are certainly plenty of other, more intense, GCOM locations for her to attend. Honestly, I don't know if that would work.

I know most readers are probably thinking that I'm an idiot for giving the problem this much thought. I don't entirely disagree, but that's who I am. As I said, I don't like conflict. In any event, I have to "nut up" and take care of this. While I'm deeply wishful, I don't think it's a problem that's just going to go away.

You may start calling me a "wuss" now.

A lot of work. Glad it's over.

Like the previous three weekends, this past weekend was incredibly busy for us. Having sanded and prepared our deck the previous two weekends, last weekend we spent a couple of hot and dirty days applying the stain. This past weekend, with everything finally dry, we moved the grill, table, etc. back onto the deck and I reinstalled the ropelights around the railings. Everything looks great!

Then, for extra credit, on Sunday we planted three new bushes and cleaned and reorganized the garage. It was all a boatload of work but it's worth it to have everything nice and clean and ready for winter.

I need a vacation from my weekends.

Magician's Night

There are a whole bunch of games in the "action/dexterity" class. These are games where players must physically manipulate something, a disc, a block, dice, etc., with the player's dexterity being the key to success. Mainstream game publishers are big on dexterity games because they have very simple rules and almost anyone can play them. The most famous of this class is probably Jenga, but Jenga is merely the tip of a huge iceberg.

As a general rule, I'm not a big fan of dexterity games. They can be fun but they're not particularly meaty game experiences. They're more like palate cleansers between heavier games. For the record, dexterity games I do enjoy include Crokinole, Bausack, Dancing Eggs, and Piratenbillard. Another dexterity game I enjoy that is particularly unique is Nacht der Magier or Magician's Night.

Nacht is played on a round board laid with two sizes of wooden discs, wooden trees, player cauldrons and a large bonfire in the center. Under the bonfire is a ring into which players are trying to push one of their three cauldrons. On her turn, a player uses her Wizard piece to push the rest of the pieces, hoping to push her cauldron into the center circle. Knocking anything off the board ends her turn.

Now this isn't particularly interesting or unique. What makes Nacht different is that the entire game is played IN THE DARK.

You see, the Wizards, the cauldrons, the bonfire and the center ring all glow in the dark. You can't see any of the trees or discs so when you start pushing, you don't know when you might hear the "Clack!" that ends your turn as something falls off the board. The tension is really sweet. A game takes about ten minutes, tops.

I first played the game earlier this year and only obtained my own copy about a month ago. Carol, Ben and I played a couple of games last night and had a fun time. As an added bonus, the game is beautiful when set up, so you can just leave it out until you play.

All images from Boardgamegeek. Here and here and here.

If Christianity is Federal Express, who's the Postal Service?

I'm sure this is going to be all over the Blogosphere very soon, so I may as well bring it up. Keep in mind that none of this is the least bit surprising coming from this (wo)man. But she's gone a bit far this time and is about to be roasted alive.

Ann Coulter is the stupidest woman on the planet

When asked by Donny Deutsch (who is Jewish) how America should be, she said:

DEUTSCH: Christian — so we should be Christian? It would be better if we were all Christian?
COULTER: Yes.
DEUTSCH: We should all be Christian?
COULTER: Yes. Would you like to come to church with me, Donny?

She followed it up with this bit of social engineering a la Seinfeld.

COULTER: No, it's true. I give all of these speeches at megachurches across America, and the one thing that's really striking about it is how utterly, completely diverse they are, and completely unself-consciously. You walk past a mixed-race couple in New York, and it's like they have a chip on their shoulder. They're just waiting for somebody to say something, as if anybody would. And —
DEUTSCH: I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that at all. Maybe you have the chip looking at them. I see a lot of interracial couples, and I don't see any more or less chips there either way. That's erroneous.
COULTER: No. In fact, there was an entire "Seinfeld" episode about Elaine and her boyfriend dating because they wanted to be a mixed-race couple, so you're lying.
DEUTSCH: Oh, because of some "Seinfeld" episode? OK.

And then this.

COULTER: No, we think — we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.
DEUTSCH: Wow, you didn't really say that, did you?
COULTER: Yes. That is what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament, but ours is more like Federal Express. You have to obey laws. We know we're all sinners —
DEUTSCH: In my old days, I would have argued — when you say something absurd like that, there's no —
COULTER: What's absurd?
DEUTSCH: Jews are going to be perfected. I'm going to go off and try to perfect myself —
COULTER: Well, that's what the New Testament says.

The transcript is in the link above. Disable your stupidity meter before you read it.

Bad news for felons

We all know that the Death Penalty is not a deterrent to crime. In the middle of committing some horrific act, which criminals actually stop to think that they could be executed years from now? It's such an amorphous threat, who really takes it to heart?

So it's good news that the government has finally found a deterrent that will work.

Jack Bauer is going to jail.

His sentence is 48 days. I'll bet the surviving prisoners are reformed within 30.

Survivor Again

Well, the third person voted out of Survivor: China was . . . Leslie, The Christian Radio Host!

As I predicted, in her farewell speech Leslie said that God had decided it was her time to go. That's funny because, a few days before, she said that God had given her a clue to the hidden immunity idol, meaning he must've wanted her to stick around. Fickle deity, that.

What's even funnier is how things stand now. You see, after Leslie got the clue, she immediately shared it with another contestant on her team. This was an odd choice because finding the hidden immunity idol gives a player a huge advantage. Now that Leslie is gone, this other player has the advantage. Apparently, God doesn't want Leslie to win after all, he wants Todd to win.

Todd, the OPENLY GAY MORMON.

So God likes Gays and he likes Mormons. Who'd a thunk it?

God, that's who.

Ben did it!

Over the weekend, Ben finished "A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning." Since he first picked up the book, he read each night before going to sleep. True to my word, I forked over ten bucks. Ben said he didn't really understand the book, but when I quizzed him, he knew the answers; obviously he comprehended pretty well.

Yesterday, he asked me if I would pay him to read the next book in the Series. I told him no, that he should read it for fun. He didn't care for that suggestion. I told him that I had identified two other books he could read for cash. He complained that they were too long. Sigh.

So, the next move is his. I'm curious to see whether or not he enjoyed the experience enough to try it again. Or if his greed gets the better of him and he tries the other two, longer, books.

If I had to bet, I'd bet on greed.

Futurama Upda -- OMG, it's a trailer!!

A trailer for the new Futurama movie (direct to DVD) is available here!!

Visually and aurally, it seems consistent with the original show which is a huge relief. On DVD on November 27!

Sadly, the same treatment did not fix my diabetes

Rachel's 1st gen Ipod Nano crapped out a couple of weeks ago. She's had it for about 20 months and it just stopped working. Recharging didn't help, resetting didn't help. The unit was just completely unresponsive. Since the Ipod is apparently surgically attached to Rachel's head, she didn't take its demise very well.

Consequently, she's been bugging me to get her a new Ipod. Unfortunately (for a cheapskate like me), the squarish 3rd generation Nanos just came out and Rachel doesn't want one. She wants the 8 Gig Ipod Touch which costs $300. Urk.

Last night we went out to eat with my first cousin (once removed) and his wife (not removed). Turns out that my cousin's wife had a similar issue with her Ipod. My cousin said he read that one possible remedy is to slap the Ipod down onto a hard surface. It hadn't worked for them, but, as I pointed out to Rachel, her Ipod is currently a really expensive bookmark. So why not try it?

When we got home I picked up Rachel's Ipod and slapped it down onto the counter. I pushed the On button and HOLY CRAP it worked! For the first time in weeks, the Ipod came on. One reset later and the Ipod seems to be completely functional.

Rachel, who has been mourning her dead Ipod for weeks, was suddenly confronted with the prospect of not getting an ultra-cool Ipod Touch complete with wireless Internet access. The realization was humorous to watch but raised some disturbing possibilities.

Now I have to watch carefully to make sure her resurrected Nano doesn't have an "accident".

Ahhhhh . . .

Once I get through the workday, there's a good three-day weekend ahead. Tonight we're either going to Markoff's Haunted Forest or our weekly gaming at GCOM Damascus. Tomorrow some friends are coming over for all day gaming. And Sunday and Monday will be spent finally staining the deck after we spent the last couple of weekends sanding.

Scares, games, and getting some home improvements finished. Excellent.

Another Chance

If you missed the premier of Pushing Daisies (see this post), ABC is running it again tonight (Friday, October 5) at 8PM. It's well worth seeing.

The Decider Speaks!

Our President, speaking in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, went off-script.

"My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions," the president said.

Really? I hadn't figured that out. I'm sure that there were a few people in the audience to whom this was news, so kudos to the President for including this explanation to benefit the clinically brain-dead in the audience. Coma victims need to understand too.

"I delegate to good people. I always tell Condi Rice, `I want to remind you, Madam Secretary, who has the Ph.D. and who was the C student. And I want to remind you who the adviser is and who the president is.'

If Condi needs reminding of that first fact . . . we are all even more doomed than we thought we were.

How much do you think we'd have to offer the President?

My son, Ben, is 9 years old. He's always been a good reader but, unlike his sister, won't read "chapter books", i.e. long books with actual chapters. When Rachel was Ben's age, she was already reading novels on her own and I read most of "The Lord of the Rings" and the first four Harry Potter books aloud to her. But Ben has steadfastly refused to read long books and won't let me read them to him.

So, earlier this week, I decided to try a new tactic: bribery. I picked out three books of varying lengths and told him I'd pay cash money if he finished them. That's right, I'm paying the little bugger to read. The payout would be according to the length of the book. The menu was as follows:

• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning (approx 150 pages) $10
• Rusty's Space Ship (approx 250 pages) $15
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (approx 350 pages) $20

Ben loves both films, A Series of Unfortunate Events and Harry Potter, so I figured he'd have an easier time with those. Rusty's Space Ship is one of my favorites from when I was his age.

To my surprise and despite the negative reaction he gave me, the day after I made the offer, Ben started reading The Bad Beginning. I suspect that he picked it because it was the shortest, but I'm not sure. While he says he doesn't understand the story, he's up to chapter ten and reading every night before bed. He'll probably finish tonight.

I'm hoping that once he finishes, he'll continue with the other two books. Of course, once he has embraced the joy of reading, I'll have to teach him the harsh, real-life lesson involving writing. That is, if someone offers to pay you to do something, you should always get it in writing.

A sure way to give your kid nightmares

Thanks a lot, Pharyngula, for pointing out this lovely bit of art.

There's enough fascist wingnuttery in this picture to rival that at the Munich Conference. Among the intellectual giants pictured are Robert Novak, John Ashcroft, Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter (without bridle). It's a wonder anyone in the room could breathe with all the smug emanating from these meatbags.

With my poor photoshopping skills, I humbly submit the following corrected version. Please feel free to suggest your own caption!

Pushing Daisies

This new show on ABC has gotten a lot of critical buzz so I TVO'd the premier tonight.

Wow. What an unusual, fantastic show. Whimsical, clever, funny, romantic, sad, weird, touching and very good. I loved it. I hope they can keep up the quality of the excellent pilot. Really, this was a great show.

I call your superstition and raise you more nonsense

The Washington Post publishes a daily newspaper called the Express which they give away for free on the DC Metro. One of the things I really like about it is that the staff seems to be very skeptical of nonsense and there is a definite tone of snarky humor.

Unfortunately, they do occasionally run a brain-dead, completely unskeptical article promoting some ridiculous New Age or supernatural notion, usually in the Health section. One such article appeared yesterday, an AP Story about "alternative" medicine's reception in Egypt. The article discusses how Egyptians are suspicious of "alternative" medicine. That's good news as far as I'm concerned.

The article contains several ridiculous statements that go unchallenged and unremarked.

Abdel Hayy Holdijk, founder of the Egyptian Society of Homeopathy, said there is an increasing recognition around the world of the limitations of modern medicine and search for alternative or traditional techniques to healing.

Yes, an "increasing recognition" by complete dumbasses. I guess he means "limitations of modern medicine" like mapping the human genome, stem-cell research, transplants, non-invasive surgical techniques, and new medicines for everything from high cholesterol to diabetes control. Humans will look back on this time as an incredible age of revolutionary medical discoveries, and these New Age numbnuts would rather place their hands on your stomach to cure your cancer.

For three hours, deep in the bowels of a building where many an Islamist detainee has disappeared, she [the organizer of a New Age festival] described morphogenetics, reiki, star mapping, hemi-sync sound therapy and other techniques - and more importantly why they did not represent a threat to the country.

For those not up on "alternative" medicine, here are some definitions taken from websites actually promoting these "treatments":

Morphogenetics - See if you can follow this: "The idea that morphogenetic (form-creating) fields exist. These are spatial and as real as any gravitational or electromagnetic field. They might be called habit patterns of form. An M-field will both order and shape matter--matter in crystal, cell, tissue, organ, whole organism--through morphic resonance. At higher levels morphic resonance can influence behavior and even collective thought. But this resonance will transmit only from like form to like form (rat shape on rat, tree shape on tree). Moreover (and here you must inhale intellectually) M-fields function not just across space but through time as well. Each previous M-field, therefore, is retained in the present. Thus a species' entire formal history will be available to it at all times."

Reiki - Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy. . . . A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you. Reiki treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and wellbeing. Many have reported miraculous results. . . . Reiki is a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone can use. It has been effective in helping virtually every known illness and malady and always creates a beneficial effect. It also works in conjunction with all other medical or therapeutic techniques to relieve side effects and promote recovery.

Star Mapping - Personal Star Mapping reading is for people who are considering moves to other parts of the world in the years to come - for themselves, for their children who are weighing options to enter universities located in different places, or for anyone who's seeking a new direction in career, relationship, creative paths and projects, or wants to know what places will be best for them as we enter the opportunities and challenges of the years from now to 2012. . . . As you can tell from its name, a Star Map combines the features of a map and an astrology chart.

Hemi-sync Sound Therapy - The audio-guidance process works quite simply by sending different sounds (tones) to each ear by stereo headphones. The two hemispheres of the brain then act in unison to "hear" a third signal-the difference between the two tones. This is not an actual sound, but an electrical signal that can only be perceived within the brain by both brain hemispheres working together. The result is a focused, whole-brain state known as hemispheric synchronization, or "Hemi-Sync"- an optimal condition for improving human performance.

Oy. More stupidity than you can sneeze at. Of course, if you do sneeze, these folk can lay their hands on your nose to cure you.

But lest we think the Egyptians are actually being skeptical of this nonsense, the article disabuses us of that notion.

But a major barrier is the taboo against magic. "Some people are worried that these kinds of practices might slip into magical practices which are forbidden in Islam," he said.

The Quran, Islam's holy book, sharply condemns sorcery - and Muslim clerics often try to stamp out persistent local traditions of magic, ranging from protective amulets that use scraps of Quranic verses to more sinister forms involving animal sacrifice, exorcisms and casting curses. Authorities are often called in to arrest those involved.

In this context, New Age practices like Tarot reading, astrology and even energy-focusing crystals arouse suspicions as well.

"Immediately they think it's magic, it's hocus pocus," said Dr. Amira Abdelkader, a licensed cosmetologist and massage therapist educated in the United States who has opened a wellness center in Cairo.

Last time I checked, there are no such things as sorcerers and magic doesn't exist. Of course, these New Age practices are magic, if by magic you mean a total crock of crap, flim-flam, and a scam to fleece the gullible.

Most of her work concentrates on more affluent Egyptians familiar with the alternative medicine ideas that treat the whole body rather than just a specific ailment.

Yes, because treating specific ailments is so effective and efficient. I hate that.

"The [security] guy went through every single person coming to the festival, he wanted to know everything," recalled Mitchell-Egan, an international lecturer who has organized a number of such festivals around the world.

"I had to be so careful what I said. I've never had to use my brain like I did then."

At last a true word! The people spouting this nonsense CAN tell the truth. I feel so much better now.

They wanted to call it "The Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers" but that was taken

Recently, Vice President Dick Cheney spent two hours in Utah and wouldn't officially explain why. Turns out, he was speaking before the Council for National Policy.

"The Council for National Policy (CNP), is an umbrella organization and networking group for conservative activists in the United States. The New York Times has described it as a "little-known group of a few hundred of the most powerful conservatives in the country," who meet three times yearly behind closed doors at undisclosed locations for a confidential conference. It was founded 25 years ago by the Rev. Tim LaHaye as a forum for conservative Christians to strategize about turning the country to the right."

This is about as close to the Illuminati as you can get. Secret members, secret meetings, agenda to control the world. The fact that this group is stuffed with Christian Reconstructionists who want the Constitution abandoned and the United States run under Old Testament legal code and was founded by a guy who is waiting for imminent Armageddon is really, really scary.

Their views are so out of touch and bizarre, the whole thing might be laughable but for one small point. They apparently have the ear of the Vice President of the United States.

"I'm not just a member of the secret crazy club for fascist nutjobs who want to execute homosexuals and adulterers, I'm also the Vice President!"