Bonds, James Bonds

I have a theory about James Bond.

It's probably not unique or novel and if I raised it in serious Bond circles I'd probably get laughed out of the room in the same way experienced by someone who went into a Trek convention with the theory that Kirk and Spock were actually women. (While espousing the theory that they were gay lovers would get you a booth to sell your fanfic.) Nevertheless, here it is. It's limited to the movies, of course, since I haven't read any of the novels.

Taking the movies at face value, James Bond has been in the spy business for over 40 years. He would be, at a minimum, the age of Sean Connery, which would tend to mitigate his killing power and babe-scoring abilities. (Not that Sean Connery has any trouble scoring babes, I'm sure. But I digress.) Plus, after so much success, frequent scenes with M taking him to task and questioning his actions would be ludicrous. If this were the same guy who killed Dr. No some forty-five years ago, MI-6 would just point him at the mission and stand back. But they're all James Bond, and James Bond isn't Doctor Who, so how can they be different guys?

My theory is that James Bond is a position, a job. Every now and then, the existing Bond retires or is killed, and a young agent is promoted to be James Bond, taking on all aspects of the Bond identity. I imagine it's an attempt to hide the real identity of the OO agents as well as to confound the bad guys, "But I thought we already killed Bond!" The new Bond does his thing for a few years and then turns the job over to the next up-and-comer. My theory is supported by the gender change of M in "Goldeneye". You can hardly claim that she's the same M, especially since Brosnan-Bond and M talk about her predecessor. If M has a predecessor, it seems that James Bond could as well.

The beauty of the theory is that it is completely consistent with what we've seen in the movies. After "You Only Live Twice", Connery-Bond retires and Lazenby-Bond succeeds to the post. After his wife is tragically killed at the end of "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", Lazenby-Bond quits the service. Connery-Bond is temporarily reactivated to bring down Blofeld in "Diamonds are Forever" and then Moore-Bond gets the job (which he unfortunately keeps for about 12 years). If you like, you can even make this work for "Never Say Never Again", though I wouldn't personally.

How does the new Bond film, "Casino Royale" play into my theory? Very well, actually, with one small change. They've been promoting this movie as "See how Bond became Bond". Clearly if this is the same guy, then either it can't be Bond's first adventure or the movie has to take place in the 1950's. However, if Craig-Bond has recently taken the job from Brosnan-Bond, it all makes sense; see how Craig-Bond became Bond. Woo hoo!

The only tweak to my theory relates to the 007 rank. At the start of the movie, Craig-Bond isn't 007 but he is James Bond. This suggests that the new agent takes the Bond persona and then has to earn the 00 rank. Which, of course, he does. If he doesn't, they get a new James Bond forthwith because no one wants a nancy-boy as James Bond. (Although they seem to have relaxed that standard from 1973 to 1985).

Applying the theory, it's fun to think about the various Bonds and whether they were killed in action or retired. My bets would be Connery, Lazenby, and Moore retired, Dalton and Brosnan KIA.

Anyway, that's my theory.

In Memory

I want to note the passing of two men who played a large part in my life.

On October 18, my Uncle Steve died of cancer in his home, surrounded by his family. I have a ton of cousins on my Mom's side of the family and when I was growing up, I loved visiting them. We often went to the Prugh's and I had many good times with my cousins Tim, Jeff, Brian and Kathy. Their Dad was a big guy whose quiet, occasionally gruff demeanor, frankly, sometimes intimidated me. What I learned growing up, however, was that he was a very good man with a sense of humor who took good care of his family. What I will remember most is how he would suddenly, and quite loudly, burst into laughter, usually startling everyone around him. I am glad he was part of my family.



Stephen Prugh














Dallas "Bub" Leatherman died of natural causes on November 20. Bub was a good friend to my Mom and to our family in the years after my parents' divorce. Bub was well known around town; it was a running joke that wherever we'd go in Goshen or Elkhart, we'd see someone who knew Bub. Bub was very active in the Goshen community and well-liked by everyone who knew him. He had a lot of tough breaks in his life, but it never seemed to dampen his spirits. I will miss his sense of humor and his kindness.



Dallas "Bub" Leatherman

It's Gonna Happen Eventually. Deal with it, Pink Boy.

Here's a good editorial on a (needlessly) controversial subject: Link

WARNING: This fair, reasoned essay may cause shock if you are extremely conservative. Have medical help standing by.

Update on the Update of The Hobbit

Terrible, terrible news.

Excerpts from an E-mail to Onering.net from Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh:

However, we have always said that we do not want to discuss The Hobbit with New Line until the lawsuit over New Line's accounting practices is resolved. This is simple common sense - you cannot be in a relationship with a film studio, making a complex, expensive movie and dealing with all the pressures and responsibilities that come with the job, while an unresolved lawsuit exists.
. . .
However last week, Mark Ordesky called Ken and told him that New Line would no longer be requiring our services on the Hobbit and the LOTR 'prequel'. This was a courtesy call to let us now that the studio was now actively looking to hire another filmmaker for both projects.

Ordesky said that New Line has a limited time option on the film rights they have obtained from Saul Zaentz (this has never been conveyed to us before), and because we won't discuss making the movies until the lawsuit is resolved, the studio is going to have to hire another director.

There is speculation that New Line is simply trying to pressure Jackson into settling the lawsuit and that Jackson is pressuring them back. I hope this is the case and that common sense will prevail because, frankly, I doubt many of the principals (McKellan, Sirkis, etc.) would return to make The Hobbit if Jackson isn't involved. The fanbase will also rebel. If it's not consistent with The Lord of the Rings in character, tone, special effects and spirit, I doubt I'll go see it.

If this really represents New Line's decision and they go ahead with a non-Jackson Hobbit, I guarantee they've cost themselves between $100-200 million in box office receipts, let alone DVD revenue and merchandising.

And, by the way, I still think the idea of a fourth movie to link the Hobbit and LOTR based on appendix material sucks big time.

Update on The Hobbit

As for "The Hobbit," Sloan confirmed MGM was in talks with Peter Jackson to make two movies based on J.R.R. Tolkein's "prequel" to "The Lord of the Rings."

However, making the film is contingent on negotiations with New Line, which owns the right to produce "The Hobbit" (MGM owns only the right to distribute the films). And people close to Jackson say that until his ongoing lawsuit with New Line -- over monies he says are owed him from the "Lord of the Rings" franchise -- is settled, a serious conversation over "The Hobbit" cannot proceed.

Even so, Sloan remains optimistic. He said the first "Hobbit" pic would be a direct adaptation of "The Hobbit," and the second would be drawn from footnotes and source material connecting "The Hobbit" with "The Lord of the Rings." Link

Hooray! for the ongoing talks! But "footnotes and source material"?? What the heck? I say NOOOOOOO!!!

Thoughts on The Lord of the Rings

On November 4, my daughter and I held our Ultimate Couch Potato Experience, watching the extended editions of all three Lord of the Rings movies back to back. We were joined in this marathon by one of my friends and one of Rachel's friends, Eric and Rachel, respectively. Later in the day were joined by more friends, Dan and Rachel (yes, a third Rachel), and Bill. All in all, a respectably-sized group.

We started a little late, 11:20AM or so and finished at 11:45PM. Aside from the assorted five minute breaks, we took a long break to order dinner and get settled. Even so, the day seemed to go very quickly.

Below are a few thoughts I had about the films (spoilers follow).

The Extended Editions are the definitive editions. The added footage makes three great films even greater. The Gifts of Galadriel, Gondor retaking Osgiliath, the Huorons at Helm's Deep, Frodo and Sam in Mordor, the fates of Saruman and Wormtongue, Gandalf vs. the Witch King, the Houses of Healing, and dozens of minor scenes add much depth to the story and the characters. I wouldn't want to watch the movies again without these elements.

The music is genius throughout. Of course I already knew this as I've been playing the soundtracks at work weekly for the past several years. But I think it bears repeating. Howard Shore deserves his Oscars.

The casting was excellent but for one slight exception; Hugo Weaving is a tad too dour for Elrond. He's not as bad as some have opined, but he does come across as petulant rather than kind and brooding rather than wise. I would love to see him in The Hobbit during happier times as that might provide a nice contrast. Of course, Ian McKellan (Gandalf) and Christopher Lee(Saruman) are perfect. New Line and MGM need to do the Hobbit before these guys are gone. No one else should play Gandalf the Grey! Other standouts for me are Bernard Hill (Theoden), Miranda Otto (Eowyn) and in a creepy, awesome cameo, Bruce Spence as the Mouth of Sauron.


There are a few things I would have done differently.

• My biggest beef is just after Eowyn slays the Witch King. The scene cuts away far too quickly; about half a second after the Witch King hits the ground. A longer cut is required to play out the drama and emphasize the magnitude of the achievement.
• In the Prologue, when Bilbo's hand reaches out of the dark to find the ring, the hand is much too wrinkled and old. Clearly it's Ian Holm's hand and not that of a young Hobbit.
• The opening of Fellowship in the extended edition is Bilbo writing his book, explaining about Hobbits. I actually like the flow of the theatrical edition better in this part.
• The only extended scene that adds nothing is right after Aragorn makes it through the Paths of the Dead. The encounter with the Corsairs is funny, but spoils the reveal of the Army of the Dead later.
• In the Prologue, just after Isildur cuts the ring from Sauron, there is a shot of a group of elves as the wave of power washes over them. One elf looks like he is busting out in laughter. That takes me out of the moment every single time.

My favorite moments are numerous: the prologue, shots of the Shire, Arwen's flight to the ford, the Fellowship on the mountains, the entire Moria segment, the Argonath, Boromir's fall, Pippin, Merry and the Orcs, the Black Gate, almost everything with Saruman, Helm's Deep, the Ents attack, the loss of Osgiliath and the doomed charge to retake it, the lighting of the beacons, the charge of the Rohirrim, Minas Morgul, Mount Doom. Holy crap, there are a lot of great moments.

One of my favorite moments is in ROTK when Sam and Frodo are lying on Mount Doom and a trio of eagles appears. One of the eagles, Gwahir no doubt, carries Gandalf. What's interesting to me is that Gwahir picks up Frodo and one of the other eagles picks up Sam. So why did the third eagle come? I didn't realize the answer until months after I first saw ROTK. The third eagle came for Gollum. They knew Gollum was with Sam and Frodo and sent the third eagle to carry him away. It's touches like this that make me very appreciative of Peter Jackson's attention to detail.

Here's the reason I love these movies. The main theme of the story isn't heroism, or friendship, or industrialization versus a simple life. Those are certainly themes of the story, but the true theme is loss. The destruction of the ring is an unhappy event, in a very real way, because it represents the loss of magic in the world; magic which is symbolic of adventure, innocence and wonder. The Elves are leaving, the wizards are gone, what good magic that exists is fading, and dark magic has been banished. At the end of the story, Middle Earth is a much less interesting place than it was at the beginning.

Peter Jackson gets this. He understands the true spirit of the books and the sense of loss. To demonstrate, you have to go no further than the opening titles. The main theme is not triumphant and heroic, but sad beyond belief. It's a notice, right at the beginning of the first movie, that this is a story of sadness and loss. I can't wait to watch them again. :-)

Bring on The Hobbit!!

OJ - Truly a scumbag desperate for attention

Wow. I mean, wow.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network [Fox] said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

So, if he did commit the murders, he's taunting us by telling exactly what he did.

If he didn't commit the murders (I know, just go with it), he's graphically describing how he would have killed his ex-wife and mother of his children. Presumably if the "real killer" hadn't gotten to her first.

Nice.

I have a -- Ouch!

Jesse Jackson consoling Andrew Young at the groundbreaking of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial on the National Mall.

"Uh, Jesse, thanks for the comforting and all, but Dude, lay off the face!"

Please feel free to suggest your own captions.

Haggard the haggard

There was a very interesting development last week in Ted Haggard's fall from grace. It seems that Haggard will be undergoing "Spiritual Restoration" to purge him of his sin. Apparently, exorcism and voodoo dolls aren't called for yet. I guess this is the evangelical equivalent to the beloved Hollywood practice of scandal-management by checking into rehab.

Ted Haggard says he's about to embark on a process of rehabilitation known as "spiritual restoration," an ancient practice that could take years to complete.

The practice originates with St. Paul, according to some evangelical Christians. "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted," Paul wrote in the biblical book of Galatians.

Haggard has been in turmoil ever since he was accused of extramarital relations with a male prostitute and was forced to resign as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and senior pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs. According to Rev. Rick Busby, head of Busby Ministries, a ministry of spiritual restoration, in Augusta, Georgia, the steps involved in spiritual restoration include submitting, admitting, restitution and being humbled.

I agree with the statement by Pastor Steve Sjogren when he said that Haggard's behavior involves a variety of sins like lying, cheating and hypocrisy. He is definitely a hypocrite.

The specific steps of the "treatment" are outlined in the article. Sounds very much like brainwashing to me. All of this actually makes me feel rather bad for Haggard. Perhaps if the church didn't create a culture where engaging in normal human sexuality (the gay part, not the prostitute part) is considered a worse sin than murder, Pastor Haggard would have been able to deal with his bisexuality/homosexuality openly and wouldn't have felt it necessary to deceive them.

Seeing what he wants to see

Father Jonathan

This dumbing-down of politics is both a consequence and cause of cultural decline. Democrats are now in the spotlight and we are watching.

On Wednesday, new House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi pointed to a painting behind her, hanging on the wall of the Library of Congress. She signaled a figure burning a scroll of learning and trampling on the Bible. The title of the painting was "Corrupt Government.” She explained: “It is a harsh image to see a Bible underfoot, but it makes a powerful point: corrupt government undermines our values. We come here today to support those values, and to lay out an agenda for a new era of honest, open, and transparent government.”

It would seem Nancy Pelosi is saying the values of America can be found in the Bible. I am impressed. Maybe she knows America was founded on Judeo-Christian beliefs and plans on entering the battle to save the American soul. To do this, she will have to hold Democratic policy up to that very high standard. I'm not holding my breath.

If there is one thing to remember, it is this: culture, not politics alone, determines our national identity, and building culture is the responsibility of us all. We can do it in our homes, schools, and places of work, even as politicians fumble around on Capitol Hill. If you need a guidebook, ask Nancy Pelosi. She just might point to the Bible.

I haven't seen this particular painting, but I doubt Nancy Pelosi was endorsing the Bible as the ultimate compendium of American values. For one thing, the Bible endorses slavery and misogyny, two "values" I hope are no longer revered in America. I expect the Bible in the painting was symbolic, something Father Jonathan doesn't seem to grasp.

The somewhat condescending comment about holding up Democratic policy to the very high standard of Judeo-Christian beliefs is bizarre given the complete lack of moral standards exhibited by most of the outgoing 109th Congress, including all of the openly Christian Republican leadership. Was Father Jonathan not watching them when they were in the spotlight?

Gone Gaming.

This weekend, the entire family and I will be attending Euro Quest IV, a gaming convention in Timonium, Maryland, sponsored by the Games Club of Maryland (GCOM). GCOM is one of the best organized, largest gaming organizations in the US (if not the best). It's not likely we'll be doing any of the tournaments, just three days of open gaming. I know Rachel's looking forward to the late night Werewolf games. Many of our friends will be there. It should be great fun.

Excellent.

So, Montana went for Tester over Burns. Given his practice of stealing candy from babies, blocking out the sun, turning off the power whenever he doesn't get his way, kidnapping Tom Jones, and this ridiculous debate, it's no wonder Burns lost. (You should really check out the debate video).

(Okay, I admit this post pretty much wrote itself.)

The Clock is Ticking

Well, the American people have done their part. It's now up to the newly elected Democrat-majority Congress. They have two years to do the right things for the American people. They have two years to demonstrate that they're different from the corrupt, sleazy, self-enriching 109th Congress. They asked for their chance and here it is.

If they can restore people's faith in Congress, enact meaningful legislation to clean up the ethical messes, loss of civil liberties, and election problems, deal with the Iraq situation in an efficient way (there's not really any hope they can eke out an actual victory at this point), deal with an out of control executive, and move this country forward, they will do well in the 2008 elections. If they blow it, then anything goes.

She Canna Take It!

I drive a 1995 Mitsubishi Galant that's been on its last legs for quite some time. We had all the belts replaced a couple of years ago but one of the new belts squealed. We took the car in when the squealing started, but they couldn't fix it so we gave up trying. The squealing was annoying, but usually it stopped once the car warmed up.

Last Friday night I was driving to my monthly poker game. The squealing was a bit louder than usual and, to my disquiet, didn't stop. That is, until I was moving at 65 mph on 270. With a slight "whump" the belt suddenly stopped making any noise. Immediately, the battery light and the brake light came on and, most alarmingly, the power steering quit; obviously, the belt driving the alternator had snapped.

I have to admit, my first thought wasn't the safe and smart, "I should pull over". My first thought was the selfish and stupid, "I am going to try to make it to poker." I've driven without power steering before and while it's difficult, it's not impossible. Seconds later, I noticed that the engine temperature was shooting skyward. Fortunately, I was travelling in the general direction of the dealership and decided that if I could make it there, one of my poker buddies could pick me up and game on! (I don't like having my plans changed.)

I was about four miles from the dealership. As I exited 270 to another highway, other systems started to fail. The car lights began to dim. Clearly the battery was being drained quickly. I shut off all interior lights and the radio. The SRS failure light lit up.

"SRS? Oh, right. The airbags. Well, so long as I don't crash, I'll be fine."

It was at that point, with a mix of revulsion and proud geekiness, I realized that I was enjoying myself. It was as if I was the Captain of a starship under attack and the ship was taking damage. Systems were failing and the damage reports were coming in fast and furious. I had to use all of my skills to make it safely to my home base. (Clearly, I've seen WAY too much Star Trek.)

The result of my heroic struggle? The steam coming out of the radiator on the off-ramp to the local lanes ended my voyage. I then waited three hours for a tow truck to tow me the last two miles.

A few thoughts as I sat on the off-ramp:

Why aren't flares designed to last longer than 15 minutes? They're supposed to warn people of the impending presence of an immobile, heavy, wall of death blocking what is usually a lane of moving traffic. I had, to my credit, three flares in the trunk. I would have needed twelve flares to last me until the tow truck arrived.

Getting stranded gives you a serious sense of contempt for those not stranded. I was consantly amused at those who failed to notice my flashing emergency lights and pulled up right behind me, only to get stuck until all the traffic in the adjacent lane had left. Fools! Had someone crashed into the rear of my car, I probably would have laughed hysterically at them, assuming I survived.

Cell phones are awesome.

And finally, and most obviously, why does it take three hours for a frickin tow truck to arrive?!?

The Ultimate Couch Potato Experience

Tomorrow, my daughter and I are finally doing something we've talked about for years. At 11AM, we'll be set up in front of the 40" high-def TV, among the surround-sound speakers, with a cooler of drinks and a good supply of various snacks at hand, and press play on the DVD player. Over the next 10-11 hours, we will watch, in one continuous, eye-popping, atrophy-inducing viewing, all three of the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings.

I've been postponing this day for various reasons, the biggest being that I wanted the new TV. That having been acquired a few months ago, I postponed the event to give us even more distance from the films. Now it's been well over a year since we've seen them and boy am I ready. A few friends will hopefully be joining us. I can't wait.

It should be glorious.

Pics from the Haunted Forest!

Keep in mind that we have not so much a forest, nor a woods, but rather a small group of trees next to our house through which runs a very short path. Also, our camera is not great at dark photography, especially since I don't have a tripod, so I had to use the flash. This means that you don't get the full effect of the pure terror our haunted forest evoked (in five year olds) on Halloween. Muwahahahahaha!

Presenting, the Haunted Forest!

Fire, Bad!

Speaking of old news . . .

Attempting to demonstrate that the Democrats are still perfectly able of pulling defeat from the jaws of victory, John Kerry misspoke badly on Monday, turning a bad joke into an insult on those serving in Iraq. I think the analysis in this Post article is dead on: Media Notes.

A sample:

Why couldn't the Massachusetts senator have climbed out of the hole he fell into by just apologizing for saying something stupid, rather than getting out a shovel and digging?

There isn't anybody, including in the Bush administration, who believes that Kerry meant to insult the soldiers in Iraq with his clumsy joke that has given the Republicans a big fat target after months on the defensive. But the words he uttered, in his clumsy fashion, were insulting, and he should have moved quickly to limit the damage.

Thinking about Kerry makes me wonder if the Democrats will ever again be able to field a Presidential candidate who's not robotic and unemotional. For future candidates, it seems to me that a simple test would be that if the potential candidate is able to be impersonated by Ted Cassidy, Fred Gwynne, or Jon Lovitz, then the Dems should keep looking. (And, yes, I do know that two of the three are dead.)

By the way, the end of the Media Notes article discusses President Bush's recent multiple appearances on Fox News. Hmm, I wonder why he's only doing interviews on that network?