Samuel T. Cogley, Attorney, Idiot

If you watch a lot of TV and if you always stop at particular shows while channel-surfing, you probably have said, "not that episode again!" This is where it seems that every time you decide to watch a particular show, you always happen upon the same episode. (I would bet a lot of money that someone on the Internet has already coined a name for this phenomenon.) For me, this occurs mostly when I tune into Star Trek and, lo and behold, it's the first season episode, "Court Martial".

"Court Martial" is not a very good episode. It's a courtroom drama written by people who obviously had little idea what it was like in an actual courtroom (kind of like Sylvia Browne, "psychic" and dispenser of horrendous medical advice, writing an episode of ER.) The basic plot is that Kirk is accused of criminal negligence after causing the death of one of his crew, Lt. Commander Benjamin Finney, and is put on trial for his murder. On the recommendation of the Prosecutor, Kirk hires as his attorney, Samuel T. Cogley, who works out of the starbase. Cogley is a quirky, crusty old guy who prefers an old-fashioned approach. Basically, he's a doofus.

The evidence against Mr. Cogley, Esquire:

• Kirk arrives in his assigned quarters to find it full of law books. Cogley explains that he doesn't like computers and refuses to use his handy legal computer. Of course, the computer would make searching for case law virtually instantaneous, but Cogley would rather search manually through hundreds of books trying to find case law, assuming he even brought the right books. As to why he would fill Kirk's quarters with his books when he already maintains his own offices on the starbase is anyone's guess. My guess is that he's lonely and wants to live with Kirk.
• The court martial begins and Cogley asks no questions of any of the prosecution's witnesses. His sole legal maneuver is to insist that the computer read out all of Kirk's commendations and to have Kirk deny that he killed Finney. If only OJ had had such representation!
• Eventually, the trial gets to the gist of the matter. The Enterprise computer made a video recording of the incident, showing Kirk prematurely pressing the button to eject Finney's pod, killing him. From their stunned reactions, it quickly becomes obvious that Kirk and Cogley have gone into the court martial, NEVER HAVING SEEN THE DIRECT EVIDENCE AGAINST KIRK. What did they expect? That the recording would show that Kirk didn't do it?
• Finally, after Cogley rests his case without making a single point in his client's favor, Spock shows up to report that the Enterprise computer has been tampered with. Cogley's plea to the court is remarkable.

"Oh, I'd be delighted to, sir, now that I have something human to deal with – rights, sir, human rights! The Bible, the Code of Hammurabi and of Justinian, Magna Carta, the Constitution of the United States, Fundamental Declarations of the Martian colonies, the Statutes of Alpha III – Gentlemen, these documents all deal with rights. Rights of the accused to a trial by his peers, to be represented by counsel, the rights of cross-examination, but most importantly, the right to be confronted by the witnesses against him – a right to which my client has been denied . . . The most devastating witness against my client is not a human being. It's a machine, an information system. The computer log of the Enterprise. I ask this court adjourn and reconvene aboard that vessel . . . And I repeat, I speak of rights. A machine has none. A man must. My client has the right to face his accuser, and if you do not grant him that right, you have brought us down to the level of the machine. Indeed, you have elevated that machine above us. I ask that my motion be granted, and more than that, gentlemen, in the name of humanity, fading in the shadow of the machine, I demand it. I demand it!"

What a load. There's just so much wrong with this. First, I don't recall the Bible setting out requirements for a trial by peers or the right to confront one's accuser. Also, the Enterprise computer isn't Kirk's accuser any more than a camcorder is if it records you committing a crime. You can't cross-examine a machine. If there is evidence that the computer record has been tampered with, you introduce that into evidence by calling Spock as a witness. Going aboard the Enterprise is just bizarre. Cogley is grandstanding here and the correct and immediate response from any real judge would be, "Denied, Mr. Cogley! Now call some witnesses and defend your client."

After they reconvene aboard the Enterprise, Kirk is exonerated when they discover that Finney faked his death to frame Kirk. They find Finney by beaming down the entire crew (!) and then turning up the ship's internal mikes to hear Finney's heartbeat. Yeesh. Good thing Finney didn't sneeze or the resulting sound might have destroyed the ship.

In the end, despite Cogley's pathetic attempts at representation, Kirk was saved by Spock. As the Enterprise departs, someone says that Cogley has taken up Finney's defense. Given the anti-capital punishment Federation, Finney probably got the chair.