I was poking about teh Intarwebs today and a pop-up caught my eye. From Military.com, it's a list of "10 Steps to Joining the Military". It doesn't look like it's been updated in a LONG time.
step 1 - Learn about the military
But NOT by watching or reading the news. That's some depressing stuff. Watch old John Wayne movies instead. Trust us, you'll feel better about the whole thing.
step 2 - Decide if you're ready
Geez, stop thinking, Poindexter, and sign on the bottom line already.
step 3 - Choose the right path
Choose from the following paths: (1) Fort Benning to Baghdad. (2) Fort Jackson to Fallujah. (3) Fort Sill to Tikrit.
step 4 - Meet the recruiter
Did you go to High School? Then you've met the recruiter. Of course, that specific guy who called you repeatedly at home despite your insistence that you never seriously considered the military and are, in fact, Amish, was killed two months ago, but trust us, there is still a recruiter.
step 5 - Ace the ASVAB
Oops, haven't updated this to the new, simplified step 5, "Take the ASVAB. Or not, if you don't feel particularly smart that day. Hey, good job signing your name! You passed!"
step 6 - Get the best job
Of course, if you can do this, why are you enlisting in the military?
step 7 - Complete the process
Done! Thanks to our new procedures, by reading this, you have already signed up!
step 8 - Raise your right hand
No, the other right hand. And don't get too attached to it.
step 9 - Get ready for bootcamp
Don't get too ready, though. You won't be there for long.
step 10 - You're in! Make the most of it.
Nice knowing you.
Given the military's recent desperation to meet recruting goals, I'm wondering why they haven't reduced this to just two steps.
step 1 - You're interested in the military/own some awesome boots/like Die Hard?
step 2 - Welcome to Iraq!
4 comments:
Perhaps you will gain a better perspective on the subject once you've enlisted in the armed forces yourself.
Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Speaking as a veteran, I cannot hide the fact that I find your post on this subject personally offensive, condescending, and insulting not only to me, but everyone who has seen fit to enlist to serve their country.
Oh, please.
I'm not making fun of those actively serving in the military, those who might serve or of veterans. I'm making fun of this ridiculous recruiting attempt that is completely out of place in the current climate. The military has been having an immense amount of trouble meeting its recruitment goals, not through anything they've done, but through this ill-conceived war the administration has gotten us into. The oh-so-sunny tone of this list is completely at odds with reality. As such, the list deserves to be mocked, which is what I've done.
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