Apparently, it used to be okay to marry children

I like to eat at the hamburger chain, Johnny Rockets. It’s got a diner-based decor, they make a really good hamburger and a real cherry Coke. Awesome.

The location at Union Station in downtown DC has a picture on the wall that looks like it’s from an old Coca Cola ad. I was unable to find the ad on the Internet, so here it is, taken by my Blackberry. (I know, I’m an awesome photograf . . . potogra . . . picture-taking-guy.)


Obviously a family from the late forties or early fifties. Let’s examine this image, shall we?

First of all the father is definitely a Robert Young/Hugh Beaumont type. He’s got the traditional suit and tie, a receding hairline and has a friendly but authoritative look about him. He looks to be about 45 years old.

The son is probably 15 or 16 years old. He appears to have just participated in a track meet or other school sport, has undoubtedly recently said “Gee” or “Gosh” and is now kicking back with his family for a refreshing drink. What’s funny here is that they’re all enjoying a TINY Coke. Really, those bottles are minuscule. You could get eight of those into a Big Gulp. Lesson: Losers from the past can’t even drink real drinks.

Finally, there’s the wife. And this is where the whole ad goes off the rails. She is WAY too young and hot for the father. (Trust me, the picture doesn’t convey just how young and hot she is.) She can’t be more than around 30 years old, too young to have a 15 year old son and way too young to be married to this balding 45 year old. And look how much bigger his head is than hers! He could eat her head in a single bite.

The whole disconnect between her and her “husband” turns what should be a wholesome family ad into a creepy image of a child-bride married into a loveless marriage for money. Good thing she likes Coke or she’d have no enjoyment in her life at all.

Sort of makes you want to go get a Coke at Johnny Rockets, doesn’t it?