For some time now, the Twix candy bar has been running a series of ads with the premise that if you're caught in an awkward situation and you "need a moment", you should "chew it over" with a Twix to give yourself some time to think a way out of your social predicament. Invariably in these commercials, some dimwit guy is in the process of embarrassing himself and scaring off the hot babe who is appalled by his lack of social graces.
I want to know in what universe stuffing a candy bar in your mouth either stops time or is a universally acknowledged sign of "taking a moment".
"Please! You must move! You're standing on a my baby! Oh, now you're eating a Twix? Take some time then before moving your foot from my child's throat. No problem."
And I find Twix, a combination of chocolate, caramel and a cookie to be one of the most horrifically chewy candy bars in existence. It's only slightly better than a Charleston Chew on the chewiness scale (hint: it's VERY chewy). I'm not confident of the success rate I'd have impressing a young woman who is clearly too hot for me by stuffing a choke-inducing Twix bar down my gullet.
I imagine the result would be me just spewing a bunch of cookie crumbs at her. Although she may be forced to give me mouth to mouth.
Still, it's on TV so it must be true.
UPDATE: If you go to the Twix link above, you can play a "choose your path" adventure that continues one of the commercials. The plot and it's resolution are very reminiscent of a particular genre of film that often has a musical soundtrack like this: wackachicka, wackachicka. Seriously.
2 comments:
It's not really that chewy, old man. I can think of at least ten candy bars that are chewier.
Go ahead then. Let's hear it.
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