This should fix the problem

Afraid of not controlling all aspects of the United States government for even a few months, Republicans are taking their "crazy and stupid" show on the road to reconnect with average Americans!

"Certainly our party has taken its licks the last few cycles, but that's why we're here," House Minority Whip Eric Cantor said Saturday. "The reality is, the prescriptions coming out of Washington right now are not reflective of the mainstream of this country."

You mean the mainstream of America who elected President Obama who is doing pretty much what he told us he would do? Hmm, and I stupidly thought an election was indicative of the people's will.

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney compared the GOP to Americans fighting the British during the Revolutionary War. "We are the party of the revolutionaries, they [Democrats] are the party of the monarchists," he told the overwhelmingly Republican crowd, saying the Republicans needed to "once again lead the American Revolution."

Ah, that explains it. The Republicans, who support constant tax breaks for the wealthy, huge tax and legal benefits to corporations, are against minimum wage hikes and universal healthcare, are *not* the Monarchists. You see, Monarchists favor a system where the wealthy get all the privileges and benefits of the system while maintaining total control of the lower classes and -- uh -- what was my point?

Perhaps William Bennett, a CNN contributor and Republican strategist, has the right idea.

"Look, you have to face reality. Barack Obama owns Washington. The Democrats own Washington. So a good place to be is out in the country.

Now there's a Republican position I can get behind.