Thursday, June 24, 2010

New levels of stupid achieved!

I've been meaning to post some of the wisdom of Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour for some time now.  The guy is just filled with awesomeness.  But super blogger Bob Cesca beat me to the punch.

Here are a few choice bits.  Make sure you read the whole thing.
What is it about Republican governors? They're either appearing in interviews with a blood-soaked cletus geeking turkeys in the background, or they're lying about hiking the Appalachian Trail, or they're honoring the Confederate States of America while ignoring slavery, or they're entertaining the treasonous option of state secession, or they're bitching about government stimulus money one minute, then posing with giant stimulus checks the next minute.
Who can forget the classic description of the oil as "weathered, emulsified, caramel-colored mousse, like the food mousse." Yum. The food mousse. If you're like me, you can't wait to sample some delightful Gulf seafood that's been marinating in the food mousse.

And the good news is, according to Barbour, "Once it gets to this stage, it's not poisonous." Oh boy!

Seriously, if that's the case, I'd like to see Barbour strap on a pair of inflatable arm floaties and dive into a big old slick of the food mousse and flail around in it for a while. See if he can eat his way out. Maybe the Mississippi tourist bureau could videotape it for their next advertising campaign. You know, because the food mousse is both delicious and not poisonous.
And believe it or not, Newsweek reports this about the Governor:
Barbour was embarrassed by an aide's nasty remarks about "coons" at campaign rallies. But in reprimanding the aide, he only made things worse. As The New York Times recounted it, Barbour warned the aide that if he "persisted in racist remarks, he would be reincarnated as a watermelon and placed at the mercy of blacks."
Wow.  What exactly is in the water in the South that they elect doofuses like this??

Oh, yeah.  Delicious, delicious oil.

1 comment:

Marc said...

Believe me, you don't know the half of the doofusses they have in the South. I grew up with them. (And Tennessee wasn't half as bad as Alabama or Mississippi. Go to Tuscaloosa, Alabama where the University of Alabama is--what a pit!) Education is really unimportant in a lot of the South.

It's probably that communist plot to flouridate the water that's the problem. In most places, it helped people's teeth; in the South, it eviscerated their brains.