Thursday, June 25, 2015

A modest proposal for the South


Thanks to a racist asshole who, inspired by right wing hate groups, slaughtered nine black people in a Charleston church last week, there has been a growing call for South Carolina to remove the confederate battle flag from the grounds of their capitol. To pretty much everyone's surprise, the call to eliminate this flag of slavery and treason has spread to other states, like Georgia and Mississippi, which incorporate the flag into the design of their state flags. Even retailers, such as Walmart, eBay and Amazon have stopped sales of the flag and products that use its image. 

Most Americans understand that this won't solve the problem of racism, but eliminating this divisive and hateful symbol is a GOOD THING and something that should have happened long ago. Like say, right after the North kicked the South's ass.

The dissenters, those conservatives who believe the flag should continue to fly, have mostly resorted to arguments of Southern Heritage. That is, they argue that the flag isn't representative of the institution of slavery and traitors renouncing their American citizenship to wage war against America, it's a symbol of "Southern Heritage". As if slavery and treason weren't their heritage.

So a couple of days ago, I had the idea of creating a new flag for the South; something everyone there could rally behind. A flag that truly represents "Southern Heritage" and its proud traditions. Sadly, before I could post my idea, The Daily Show made their own proposal last night. But my flag is different, so I'm posting it anyway. My flag represents "The Crossroads of Ideas".

I grant the use of this design to the "South" (aka the former Confederate states) in perpetuity. Fly it from your statehouses! Paste it on your pickups! Wear it on your wifebeaters! Slap it on the stocks of your shotguns!

Whether you do or not, it's how we'll always think of you.




1 comment:

Eric Haas said...

but eliminating this divisive and hateful symbol is a GOOD THING and something that should have happened long ago. Like say, right after the North kicked the South's ass.

Actually, it was eliminated right after the North kicked the South’s ass. The Union confiscated all the Confederate flags (as was the custom at the time), where they sat in storage for years. Grover Cleveland caused a big stink when he tried to give them back to the southern states. The south refused to take them back!

The flags were resurrected during the civil rights battles of the 1950s and 60s, by segregationists.