Sunday, August 02, 2015

What's in it for the lawnmower?

Rep. Steve King, fighting with Rep. Louis Gohmert for the title of "America's Dumbest Congressman," is pretty excited that his dating prospects have increased. In regards to the Supreme Court decision making same sex marriage the law of the land, he recently said this:
“Their ruling really says anybody can marry anybody — and eventually it will be in any combination. I had a strong, Christian lawyer tell me yesterday that, under this decision that he has read, what it brings about is: It only requires one human being in this relationship — that you could marry your lawnmower with this decision. I think he’s right.” Link

Good for him! But I caution Rep. King (R-IA) to go slowly. First, just date a lawnmower. See if you have things in common. Explore whether the lawnmower would truly make you happy. No need to rush things, after all; the lawnmower has a five year warranty.

I would encourage Rep. King, however, to not be too coy. Physical compatibility is important in any relationship. After a date or two, he should definitely test the waters, lean in and give the lawnmower a big kiss.

Right on the spinning mower blades.

1 comment:

SJHoneywell said...

I think he should go for it. There's something else he could put in those spinning blades.