There is more to your philosophy . . .

Huzzah! Creationist Ken Ham has finally finished his "Noah's Ark" attraction in Kentucky.

Ham said the massive ark, based on the tale of a man who got an end-of-the-world warning from God about a massive flood, will stand as proof that the stories of the Bible are true. The group invited media and thousands of supporters for a preview Tuesday, the first glimpse inside the giant, mostly wood structure.

What's amazing is that, like Noah, Ham built it himself with only his sons helping. Plus, he used only the ancient building techniques and materials that would have been available thousands of years ago.

What?

Oh, actually this $100 million building was created using modern construction techniques, some concrete and steel, and hundreds of skilled construction workers. Well, I'm sure Noah would have used those too if they had been around.

But Ham's right. The fact that he could build this structure -- again, with $100 million, hundreds of skilled workers, concrete and steel, and modern construction techniques -- proves that the Bible is true.

The other good news is that I've been absolutely inspired by this because of all the other books I now know are true!

Harry Potter!

 Star Wars!

My favorite, Star Trek!

And, of course, The Simpsons.

Thanks, Ken Ham! Now that I know all these fictional constructs are 100% true, I can finally stop looking to that musty old Bible for inspiration.