Rapture!

Have you heard?

Tomorrow, September 23, 2025, is the Rapture!

Huzzah! All good christians are going to ascend into heaven, leaving the Earth to us, the ungodly, as well as those who were born into a culture that stupidly believes in the wrong god. In other words, Morons. Sorry, meant to type Mormons.

Seems to me that this can only make things better for those of us "left behind" as it should clear out everyone slowing down all human progress. We'll be free to fight climate change, protect the environment, dismantle the military state, enact diversity and equality, stop supporting genocide, and a host of other things that will make this planet so much better for everyone. (I realize much of the world is already working on this, just not Americans).

So long, jerks!

Ha! Just kidding. If any of this were real, no MAGAs would be Raptured, because they're terrible people and, as I understand, Raptured christians are supposed to be the love thy neighbor types, which MAGAs definitely are not.

Oh well, I guess it'll just be another Tuesday in this, the worst timeline.

If you're interested in learning more about the decidedly non-Biblical origins of the Rapture, click here.