Thursday, March 08, 2007

I still deserve a break, consarnit!

The single long-time reader of this blog (you know who you are), may remember my experience with McDonald's limited night time menu. In that vein, here's another reasoned essay about America's favorite fast-food franchise.

At some point in the distant past, McDonald's figured out that it was more efficient to group commonly selected items into a "meal". It saved time on ordering, made it very clear to the customer what the cost was, and encouraged sales by seeming to offer a discount. Good idea. They even made the system idiot-proof by assigning each meal a number. For example, the Big Mac/Fries/Drink meal is number 1.

However, within the past few years, some pinhead executive decided that the customer was stupid and didn't actually know what they wanted when they ordered. Apparently, this genius concluded, "our system of meal numbering is too complex." So now, instead of "Do you want fries with that?", all McDonald's employees are required to ask, "Do you want the meal?"

My ordering experience has gotten progressively worse.

Approx. two years ago

Me: I'd like a Big Mac, please.

Flunky: Do you want the meal or just the sandwich?

Me: I just want a Big Mac sandwich.
(Big Mac sandwich sounds extremely stupid to me. It's not a sandwich, it's a burger. I hate saying Big Mac sandwich.)

Approx. one year ago

Me: I'd like a Big Mac sandwich, please.
(Note how I've gotten over my disdain for the word sandwich when combined with Big Mac, and have cleverly incorporated the word sandwich into my order so they'd know I don't want the meal.)

Flunky: Do you want the meal?

Me: No, just the sandwich. That's why I said, "Big Mac sandwich", rather than the #1 meal.

Today

Me: I would like a Big Mac sandwich.

Flunky: Do you want the meal?

Me: Why, yes, I do want the meal! Thanks for asking. I was confused by the complicated system. Oh, and by the way, #*&#@*&%$$!!

Seriously, this is really starting to piss me off. If I wanted the meal, I'd say I want the frickin' # 1 meal! When some McDonald's customer inevitably goes all postal on some poor McDonald's staff, there's a high likelihood it will be me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmm, obsessing over how they take your order at McDonald's. McDonald's is about as American as there is. Clearly, you hate America.

Or, maybe you are really on an island as part of an experiment and this experience is happening in a flashback. That McDonald's didn't happen to get hit by a meteor did it?

BillR said...

so switch to BK! At least it has a playground

Anonymous said...

You think that's bad. Try ordering a plain Big Mac. (I don't like all the glop, but I really like the middle-bun you only get with the Big Mac.)

Meat. Bread. It just baffles 'em.

Anonymous said...

So you're suggesting that people don't like it when those in the service industry are instructed to "upsell" at every opportunity? Nonsense! Then all the people who get paid lots of money to give seminars to managers so that they can get paid more money to come give scripts to line-level employees to follow and annoy people would be out of work! Commie.