Monday, November 05, 2007

Key to the Kingdom


I want a few extra keys. Kwikset emergency key #81087. That's all I want.

Our house is equipped with the same doorknobs as millions of other homes in America. They lock, but don't use a standard key. What these doorknobs require is a little screwdriver-esque key you stick into a round hole and wiggle around until you unlock the door. Simple, yet effective in keeping doors locked or unlocked.

At one point, we had a half dozen of these keys, but through attrition (and kids) that number is down to three. Woe be the person who finds a locked door in the basement when the nearest key is on the second floor. So, in my eternal quest to make my life easier, I've been trying to buy more.

The guy at Home Depot reacted as if I was trying to buy keys to get into OTHER people's bedrooms. A Google search shows only four Internet vendors carrying the things but ALL OF THEM are out of stock. Apparently making little bits of shaped metal is beyond the world's manufacturing capacity at the moment. One store in Maryland wants $3 per key!

This madness must end. I won't rest (literally) until I can unlock the bedroom door.


8 comments:

Eric Haas said...

I just use a screwdriver.

Ipecac said...

I've done that. It's annoying.

Eric Haas said...

And how often do you lock yourself out of your own bedroom that you need to have all these keys?

Anonymous said...

Bob,

You may recall, I said that Steve found 2 keys when he cleaned the dryer vent. Do we really need more now?


Eric,

We lock the doors a lot during gaming and other times to keep the kids out of our room (or Rachel's room, or that darn guest room they are always breaking into). Also, if I just cleaned one of the bathrooms for guests or something, I lock it so they have to use another.

Ipecac said...

Whoa! This is terrifying. Some anonymous bitchy Internet stalker apparently knows the details of my personal life!

Anonymous,
I believe my wife Carol told me that Steve found "house" keys. These aren't house keys. If that's what my lovely wife meant, she should have been more specific. And, in any event, that doesn't negate my annoyance at being unable to buy these ubiquitous keys.

Anonymous said...

I think it's Cheney's fault.

ahtitan said...

Why don't you just have one of the keys permanently affixed to one of your bionic fingers?

HomerD.Poe said...

I found the sources by Google with the phrase "Kwikset emergency key"
They are 18 cents here http://www.thehardwarecity.com/?sku=4634101
and 23 cents here:
http://www.doorlocksdirect.com/81087.html
Also, 2 for $3.00 at Bed Bath and Beyond
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=15016353

I had the same problem, only far worse - I manage apartment buildings and when people move out they take the darn things or the cleaning crews remove them from their place on the door top sills. So I need them by the dozen.