Thursday, March 18, 2010

God's spokesman is kind of a dick

Iowa Congressman Steve King (R) and Glenn Beck are such awesome guys, they actually speak for the almighty! They know his thoughts, turn-ons, turn-offs, and even his pet peeves.

When discussing the upcoming Health Care vote scheduled for this weekend, they scooped everyone by dishing the dirt straight from Jehovah himself!
KING: They intend to vote on the Sabbath, during Lent, to take away the liberty that we have right from God. [...]

BECK: You couldn’t have said it better. Here is a group of people that have so perverted our faith and our hope and our charity, that is a — this is an affront to God. And I honestly, I don’t think anybody is like, “yes, and now what we’ll do is we’ll vote on the Sabbath.” But I think it’s absolutely appropriate that these people are trying to put the nail in the coffin on our country on a Sunday — something our founders would have never, ever, ever done. Out of respect for God.

Hard to argue with such sound reasoning.

God does seem like the type who would be offended by attempting to provide medical care for the less fortunate.  Now don't get him wrong.  He doesn't mind people working at Taco Bell on the sabbath, of course, because how else is he going to get his Cheesy Gordita Crunch?  I mean, those wankers at Chick Filet are closed, so he's got to go to Taco Bell.  But voting to provide health care for millions of uninsured Americans (especially on a Sunday) is just going too far!

It certainly goes without saying that our ultra-religious Founding Fathers would be absolutely appalled.  Glenn knows because they're right up there in heaven with Jesus and Jesus told Glenn. 

Yes, even the Deists.  Which was most of them.


Anonymous said...

may the blessing be always with you!!..................................................

Paul Seegers said...

Why does Glenn Beck even care?
Jesus is coming back to wipe everything out in a few days, months years,frames,and the righteous will be rewarded with candy and ice cream.
Surely he and his buddies will get big bowls with chocolate sprinkles?