It's definitely the pants, not me

Yesterday I wore a new pair of pants for the first time and I discovered an unusual, nay unprecedented, problem.

The fly is too small.

I thought fly-size was pretty standardized. Whatever it is, four inches, five inches, pretty much the same across all pants. But on these new pants, the fly only zips down so far and it's not the usual distance. The shortened vertical distance means that the fly opens less horizontally and so the pants are more difficult to use when I'm doing my business. I've never heard of such a thing.

Someone should notify the pants authorities.