But fear not! One man understands the cause of this disaster and is warning others! Yes, I'm talking about uber-Patriot and swell guy, Pat Robertson!
Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. Napoleon the Third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, “We will serve you if you get us free from the prince.” True story. And so the devil said, “OK, it’s a deal.” They kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free.This really eases my mind. This wasn't an uncontrollable natural disaster that couldn't be avoided, it was a specific response to specific malfeasance, and thus easy to avoid in the future!
But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor. That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle, on the one side is Haiti, on the other side is the Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island.
But I must admit confusion; this explanation has left a few questions in my mind.
Did God curse them or the Devil?Well, never mind. I'm sure Pat will be back on TV any minute to answer my questions.
Who is responsible for the Earthquake, the Devil or God?
If the Devil, why would he kill so many of his willing minions? Why not hit the Vatican with an earthquake?
If God, then why didn't he smite the actual Haitians who made the deal with the Devil? Or why doesn't he smite Al Qaeda instead?
How does either of them smiting some of the poorest, least well-off humans on the planet advance their cause?
Did the Dominicans have a deal with God, or does their lack of a deal with the Devil just exempt them from disasters?
80% of Haitians are Catholic and 16% are Protestant. I really don't know how to interpret the smiting in that context!
Finally, if the Devil caused it and God didn't intervene, doesn't that make God culpable? And if God caused it, doesn't that make God a huge DICK?