Monday, April 08, 2024

Rapture Bust

Apparently, according to social media, a good number of Christians thought that the total solar eclipse in the United States today would signal the rapture and the beginning of the end of the world. The rapture is where all good Christians are beamed up to heaven (kind of like the Thanos snap), so they don't have to face the terrible tribulations brought on by the Antichrist and the eventual return of Jesus.

(Full disclosure, I used to believe in this when I was in Junior High School and a Christian).

Let's lay out a few facts.
  • There are at least two, and up to five, solar eclipses on Earth every single year and a total solar eclipse every 1-3 years. Obviously, to the Christians, those don't count because only the United States is special enough to bring about the apocalypse.
  • The last total solar eclipse that crossed the United States was in 2017, so not that long ago. There have been 11 total solar eclipses worldwide since 2010. Again, none of these triggered the end of days, so I'm not sure why this one was so special.
  • The rapture is NOT a biblical concept, the word rapture not appearing in the Bible. The current doctrine of the rapture does not appear in historical Christianity, but first appeared in the 1830s. Numerous predictions of its coming have failed to actually occur, which is kind of important if it's a real thing. 
  • Jesus has not reappeared. If he did, Republicans would attack him for being "woke".
  • Finally, if anyone on earth is the Antichrist, it's Trump, and the fact that evangelicals can't see what a horrible person he is, almost makes me believe. Then again, they're idiots, so them not recognizing the Antichrist as the guy they worship above all else would really not be that shocking. 
Perhaps surprisingly, I am disappointed that Christian rapture believers didn't disappear today. Those of us "left behind" could have quickly made the world a better place without their constant, selfish, hateful, ignorant, backwards interference.


SJHoneywell said...

At this point, we've lived through so many false raptures that we should get the next one free.

thevoid99 said...

So all of that bullshit of the rapture wasn't about the band or the last studio album by Siouxsie & the Banshees?

Christians. I hope there's a special place for them... in Hell.

Oh, OJ Simpson died today. Rot in Hell.