You're fired!

Oh, no! Not Pam Bondi! What did she ever do to deserve being fired by our insane President?

I've seen some terrible AGs in my time, but she was absolutely the worst. I look forward to your eventual trial and imprisonment for treason, Pam, when Karma eventually gets off its ass. Heckuva job.

Trump's Theory of Governance

At last, his Cabinet picks all become clear.

To clarify one point. NO ONE likes to listen to the boring-ass, meandering, endless screeds of his (imaginary) "success". But he surrounds himself with lickspittles who tolerate it because they are either very stupid or they want power. Usually both.

It's a cult - Example #8,453,280

Not only are Trump's people evil as hell, but they're also really, really dumb.

The Attorney General of the United States, Pam Bondi, recently said this on FOX News:

"Being a citizen in our country is a privilege, not a right. And Donald Trump is going to have everyone in this country who deserves to be here, who is a citizen," Bondi said during a guest appearance on the conservative television network.

JFC. The Pedophile Traitor Donald Fucking Trump does not determine who is a citizen. The Constitution defines who is a citizen and at least 300 million of us are citizens by RIGHT.

I give you the 14th Amendment:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.

It's really that simple.

Now, you could say that Bondi wasn't being stupid here. You could say that she knows the 14th Amendment, but was instead exhibiting her evil side for this particular bit of gaslighting. But I would argue that the dumb part was assuming that any of us would believe her. In fact, even FOX News viewers rejected her statement. (And also, what kind of grammar is she using in this quote?)

It gets said a lot, but particularly in this case, can you imagine MAGA's reaction if someone in the Biden Administration had said that Joe Biden determines who deserves to be a citizen?

These people are just the absolute worst. And also really, really dumb.

STILL NO KINGS

Wishy-Washy Goals

I worked for the federal government for 35 years until I retired in December. For federal agencies, one of the issues that comes up every four years is the potential change of priorities a new administration can bring. For most of my career, this wasn't a big problem, as both parties supported my agency's mission. But since Trump 1.0, we suffered from severe policy whiplash every time new people came in, making it difficult to finish any long term projects over my last ten years. We found it frustrating and heartbreaking.

NASA, which especially relies on steady, long term support and firm commitments, is currently undergoing those same wild swings from successive administrations. NASA had finally committed to returning to the moon with the goal of building a permanent manned base and a lunar orbiting station to facilitate moon landings. Unfortunately, that goal has once again shifted.

NASA’s new chief is reshaping the space agency’s goals, unveiling at an event in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday an ambitious vision that includes revamped plans for a moon base.

...

Some other projects announced Tuesday by Isaacman, who took office in December, would have much tighter deadlines, most notably a brand-new nuclear-powered Mars vehicle the agency hopes to launch by 2028 — a lightning-fast timeline in the world of space travel.

This is absolute nonsense. They want to develop, build and launch a Mars vehicle within two years and with their current budget? Ridiculous.

This short-sighted goal changing will just mean more wasted time and money, before someone else in charge decides that those goals are unrealistic and shifts the focus to something else. Without long term vision and commitment to specific achievements, we're going nowhere fast in space.

There's never a bad time for a bad idea

In a dramatic sequel to the bang-up job they've been doing in blue cities, Trump's Gestapo ICE is deploying to America's airports!

Trump Admin Says ICE Will Be In Airports Starting Monday, Though Plan Is Unclear

Trump said that his plan to put ICE officers in U.S. airports will begin on Monday, a shockingly quick turnaround from when he first made the threat this weekend.

"THEY WILL DO A FANTASTIC JOB," the president said on Truth Social of the officers, who will be assisting TSA officers working without pay as a result of the partial government shutdown. Trump's border czar Tom Homan will be leading the effort.

It does not appear that the administration even has a concrete plan yet for how to incorporate ICE officers into airport security processes. Homan told CNN's "State of the Union" on Sunday that he's still putting together a plan with ICE and TSA's acting leaders, but suggested a detailed plan isn't necessary for the roles he thinks agents can fill.

"How much of a plan does it need to guard an exit to make sure no one comes through that exit?" he said.

Of course, we all know airport security is that simple, don't we Tom Homan? Has this guy ever been to an airport?

Somehow I don't think inserting untrained, violent assholes with a persecution complex and a nasty racist streak into a busy process filled with overwhelmed and tense people is going to improve wait times at TSA screening.

Also, will they be wearing masks? Because that seems perfectly reasonable and won't compromise security even a little bit. No terrorists would ever wear a mask to blend in to get behind security checkpoints.

Dumbfucks, all.

No one could have foreseen this

Ya know, I'm starting to think it wasn't a good idea to put a demented, ignorant, thin-skinned, sociopath with no impulse control in charge of the world's largest military.

Thanks, MAGA idiots.

Kristi Noem

So long, you grifting, unqualified, ignorant, lying, dog-killing, cosplaying, sociopath!

You won't be missed. I'm greatly looking forward to your prosecutions for violating multiple state and federal statutes, as well as for human rights violations.

Unfortunately, Noem is being replaced by the possibly even more stupid, MAGA Senator Markwayne Mullins from Oklahoma. It will be a short reprieve but any change that disrupts this criminal administration is a good one. We'll deal with Markwayne in turn.

The Latest U.S. War (Iran)

Jeff Tiedrich perfectly encapsulates my feelings on the ongoing horror in Iran.

here’s a huge mistake the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press are making right now, as they cover Dear Leader’s Splendid Iran Adventure™: they’re treating Donny as if he were a rational actor who knows what he’s doing.

spoiler alert: he’s not. he’s bugfuck nuts, in steep cognitive decline, and there is no plan. he’s making it all up as he goes along.

I HATE it when people say things like, "I really wish Trump would focus on the economy/healthcare/foreign affairs more than he does immigration." You know what, I don't want him focusing on ANYTHING. He's stupid and crazy and he destroys everything he touches. So no, I don't want him focusing on anything but going to jail/dying/leaving the planet.

Tiedrich lays out his initial reactions to all the insane stuff that's happening, and I agree with it all. Check out his post here:  Captain Crazypants goes to war - by Jeff Tiedrich

Way to go, MAGA! You REALLY nailed supporting the candidate less likely to take us to war. Dipshits.

Counter-programming

Brilliant, TCM.

Thanks to Jeff Tiedrich.

Sounds like a plan

Sparky's List.

Hmm. I was not aware of that.

A demented moron, says what?

We'll just put the obligatory "Can you imagine MAGA heads exploding if Presidents Obama or Biden had said that?" right here.

Stock Market Growth in 2025

Since Republicans have been bragging so much about the stock market recently . . .

We're number one! We're number one!

Uh . . . . never mind.

SAM, I AM

To follow up on my recent post about Starfleet Academy, last night's episode, "Series Acclimation Mil", was fantastic. It wasn't a perfect story - a few filler scenes could have been shortened, but any episode that makes me tear-up three separate times is a winner in my book. Seriously, if you love (or even like) Trek, especially the golden age of the mid-nineties, watch this one. So good.

Who are you again?

Melania Trump, today:

"We need to unify," Trump told "Fox and Friends." "I'm calling for unity. I know my husband, the president had a great call yesterday with the governor and the mayor. And they are working together to make it peaceful and without riots. I'm against the violence, so please, if you protest, protest in peace."

Why don't you talk to the husband you can't stand, you plagiarizing, vacuous, mannequin? He's directly responsible for ALL of the violence in our country right now, especially in Minnesota. He could end it with a single phone call.

Yes, let's all unify behind the fascists. What a fantastic idea.

Fuck off.

Star Trek: Starfleet Academy

For the record, I'm really enjoying Starfleet Academy on Paramount+. I like the characters, the setting is unique, and I really appreciate the tone, which is closer to the best of the modern Trek shows, the irreverent, loving tribute, Lower Decks, than it is to traditional Star Trek. I'm not a fan of current Trek runner Alex Kurtzman, but this show is working for me.

Of course, conservative Trek fans, like Stephen Miller(!), the Joseph Goebbels of the Trump Regime, have been bitching about it. They dismiss all modern Trek as "woke" because they don't like the focus on strong women and POC characters (the Chancellor of the Academy and her Number One are both women). Of course, Star Trek has always been "woke", i.e. embracing human rights, inclusion, equity, diversity and equality. Did these assholes ever watch the show? Seriously, what part of Trek do they actually like? Its very philosophy is in direct opposition to MAGA.

Anyway, really enjoying Academy, even more so because it's making MAGA sociopaths uncomfortable. To paraphrase Wreck-It Ralph, "If those psychotic douchebags hate it, how bad can it be?"

This Modern World - Late January, 2026

From Tom:

As always, if you find value in this work I do, please consider helping me keep it sustainable by joining my weekly newsletter, Sparky’s List! You can get it in your inbox or read it on Patreon, the content is the same. Don’t forget to visit the Tom Tomorrow Merchandise Mall, and, if you’re so inclined, follow me on Bluesky!

Neediest boy ever needs his binky

This is just an excuse for his warmongering, but clearly demonstrates the broken thinking of the giant diaper baby who squats in the Oval Office.

Trump wants recompense from Denmark for NOT getting the Nobel Peace Prize from the independent Nobel Committee in Norway. And this slight is so big in his eyes that he's quickly moving to destroy NATO because of his infinite, childish need for validation (and Putin's orders). Apparently being gifted a medal he didn't earn isn't enough for him. Nothing ever is for this bloated mass of Big Macs and sociopathy.

In related news, every time I hear or read a story about this, they say that Trump is angry after he was "snubbed" for the prize. This is infuriating.

Trump wasn't SNUBBED. He didn't stop "8 wars PLUS". This warmongering asshole, who has attacked several countries over the past year while his MAGA Gestapo is attacking American citizens and legal immigrants, did not qualify for the prize because of his own sanctioned violence. He deserves the Nobel Peace Prize as much as I deserve an Oscar.

And the idea that he has done more for NATO than any other person is ludicrous.

This is always appropriate: 

How to say you're a fucking moron without actually saying it

The Florida Panthers recently won the top award in whatever sport they play, and so were invited to the White House.

Look at these chuckleheads.

Not a lick of sense among them. They better check to make sure they returned home with the actual Stanley Cup and not a cheap fake.

I'm not sure why, but it reminded me of this, which I'm sure aged really well for these guys, assuming they survived.

The name Legion of Doom was unfortunately already taken

Are you an up-and-coming country that wants a shortcut to power and respect? Do you have $1 billion and no sense of honor or dignity? Are you just extremely gullible? Then you're in luck!

Because right now you have a historic opportunity to join "the Greatest and Most Prestigious Board ever assembled at any time, any place."

Membership is now open for the Donald J. Trump Board of Peace! 

(No joke. This is absolutely something he announced this week).

The terms are that it's free to join for three years, with an invitation by Trump, but for the billion bucks, you get unlimited membership, with all the privileges that brings, probably including the mini-bar at Mar-a-Lago. Other terms include Trump being the Chair, setting the agenda, and being solely responsible for all the $1 billion contributions. Also, member states will be able to vote on board decisions, but Trump will have sole authority to approve them. Sounds perfectly fair. Who needs the U.N. when this will be chaired by the most peace-loving guy on the planet?

So far confirmed invitations include Jordan, Argentina, Egypt, Paraguay, Pakistan, Greece, Turkey, Albania, Hungary and Cyprus. What an absolutely brilliant list of freedom-loving countries!

And if you're worried that things might go astray before all the member countries are sorted out, don't worry! They've already got support from these superstars! 

The White House said on Friday that the founding members of the executive board would include U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, World Bank chief Ajay Banga and Trump’s Middle East envoy, Steve Witkoff. Also named on the board are Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, U.S. billionaire Marc Rowan and Robert Gabriel, a national security adviser in the U.S.  

Wow! They got Kushner! What are the chances?

Anyway, if this does anything but funnel billions of dollars directly into Trump's pocket, then I clearly have skipped to an alternate universe where Trump isn't 100% a psychotic, narcissistic, demented, hateful, stupid, rapist, criminal, grifting, pedophile. Maybe in this new universe, he's just 99.99% of those things.

Support, Admiration and Respect

To the people and state of Minnesota. What you're going through is terrifying and I thank you for your courage in the face of the United States' fascist government. I know you didn't choose this, but you have responded with bravery, kindness, imagination, and dignity.

Get ready for some stupid shit

Trump is meeting with Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado today. Expect her to give Trump her recently won Nobel Peace Prize in an attempt to flatter him to make her the legitimate President of Venezuela.

Expect Trump to accept it, as if he had really won it, and then do nothing for her.

It's basically a cynical exercise all the way down and should be a humiliation for all concerned.

Crime and Punishment

MAGA at all levels are soooo bad at made up explanations.

"The woman and her friend were highly disrespectful of law enforcement," Trump told reporters on Air Force One after being asked if he thought the officer's use of force was warranted. "You saw that. They were harassing, they were following for days and for hours, and I think, frankly, they're professional agitators. And I'd like to find out and we are going to find out who's paying for it, with their brand new signs and all these different things. But these are professional agitators and law enforcement should not be in a position where they have to put up with this stuff. What that woman and what her friend ... were doing to law enforcement ... is outrageous."

None of that is true. It's the usual gaslighting.

Oh, and:

Being disrespectful to "law enforcement" is NOT a crime punishable by DEATH in the United States, you stupid, demented fascist.

Excuses

Now that the inevitable cold-blooded murder of an unarmed American citizen at the hands of an ICE agent has occurred, MAGA cannot justify it fast enough.

The victim was Renee Nicole Good, a 37 year old mother of three, and every statement below was offered as JUSTIFICATION for her murder.

Trump:  She ran over the Agent so he shot her in self-defense.

Trump:  Her behavior was terrible.

Kristi Noem:  She was a domestic terrorist.

Kristi Noem:  She was harassing and impeding law enforcement operations.

Paul Sperry (rightwing "reporter"):  She once donated to Bernie Sanders.

JD Vance:  She was a deranged leftist who tried to run him over.

Jessie Waters:  She had pronouns in her bio and was a lesbian.

Mark Hemingway (rightwing "reporter"):  She shouldn't have been there to begin with.

Rep. Mark Fine (R-FL):  “If you impede the actions of our law enforcement as they seek to repel foreign invaders from our country, you get what's coming to you. I do not feel bad for the woman that was involved.”

Multiple videos from the scene showed that she didn't run anyone over. The agent placed himself at the corner of her vehicle, and when she tried to follow conflicting instructions to drive away from the scene, instead of stepping aside, the agent opened up, shooting three times at her head at point blank range.

This was murder. This bloodthirsty, probably untrained, and obviously cowardly, agent decided without any justification that this woman should die and her six-year old be orphaned. He undoubtedly got a thrill out of ending her life.

MAGA at all levels condone it and are gaslighting Americans to cover up the crime.

There had better be some Nuremberg-level accountability at the end of this nightmare or we have all failed (even more than we already have).

A shocking development no one would ever believe!

Noooo! I can't believe the winner of the FIFA Peace Prize, one of the top contenders for the Nobel Peace Prize would just invade a sovereign country like that! And here I thought Kamala Harris was the candidate most likely to get us into war. Who would have thought it?!?

Thanks, MAGA. And now we get to watch you spin on a dime to embrace America in a manufactured war. But at least President Bonespurs invaded Venezuela for the best of reasons. ::checks notes:: To steal their oil! Fantastic! Truly a great reason.

To be fair, regime change in Iraq and Afghanistan worked really well for George W. Bush, so I'm sure it'll be okay.