After 35 years serving as a lawyer at an agency in the U.S. Government, I retired on Dec. 31, 2025. For the last 20 years of my tenure, I led a small section of lawyers conducting administrative and rulemaking work. I stayed for almost one year of the current administration to do what I could to protect my staff and make sure the handoff was as smooth as possible through a turbulent time.
During my career, there were certainly ups and downs in agency management, but under both Democrats and Republicans, there was a base level of concern for our mission and good treatment of agency staff. The work was interesting, challenging and rewarding. Even during the first Trump administration, things were more or less, business as usual.
But not this time.
The last year of my job was very stressful as we waited to see what our new fascist overlords would do to our highly accomplished agency with its hundreds of subject matter and legal experts. First thing, we lost all remote telework and had to return to full-time in the office, a policy that didn't change the quality of the work, but did negatively impact the quality of staff's lives. That was a feature, not a bug, as they were hoping to drive people to quit.
In 2025, the Agency lost about one-sixth of our staff, including some wonderful folk in our personnel division who handled diversity hiring and were the first to go. Many staff took the "Fork in the Road" offer, which allowed deferred resignation, meaning people were paid for months NOT to work. (Total government costs for this program were around $10 billion - again, to pay people NOT to work). Staff took the deal not to take advantage of a stupid policy, but because we were told that people would be fired without compensation if enough people didn't take the deal. So it was both a sacrifice and an opportunity to either retire early or have time to look for a new job.
For months we were haunted by the DOGE douchebags wandering through our halls. Fortunately, my agency isn't very controversial so we were spared the wholesale slaughter inflicted on others. By the time I retired, personnel changes had stabilized and they were posting to refill positions that had been vacated by experienced, career staff. Brilliant.
I want to say - unequivocally - that for my 35 years, the staff I worked with were dedicated, professional, hard-working, and knowledgeable as hell about our areas of expertise. The whole "waste, fraud, and abuse" bullshit pushed by the Administration to justify DOGE brutalizing the federal government DID NOT EXIST, except where created by DOGE, which includes the Fork in the Road fiasco. The career civil servants I worked with believed in our mission, believed in the work of the federal government, and worked hard to the benefit of the people in America. The loss of hundreds of them, in addition to the thousands lost at other agencies, did irreparable harm to the United States.
I am proud of the work I, and my colleagues, did for the American people. We actively made life quantifiably better for millions. I ache for my staff, friends and co-workers who are still working (which is definitely a good thing), but have to put up with the fascist dictates of this administration. I'll be very happy when the fascists are gone and my friends can serve the American people like they signed up to do.
