Because right now you have a historic opportunity to join "the Greatest and Most Prestigious Board ever assembled at any time, any place."
Membership is now open for the Donald J. Trump Board of Peace!
(No joke. This is absolutely something he announced this week).
The terms are that it's free to join for three years, with an invitation by Trump, but for the billion bucks, you get unlimited membership, with all the privileges that brings, probably including the mini-bar at Mar-a-Lago. Other terms include Trump being the Chair, setting the agenda, and being solely responsible for all the $1 billion contributions. Also, member states will be able to vote on board decisions, but Trump will have sole authority to approve them. Sounds perfectly fair. Who needs the U.N. when this will be chaired by the most peace-loving guy on the planet?
So far confirmed invitations include Jordan, Argentina, Egypt, Paraguay, Pakistan, Greece, Turkey, Albania, Hungary and Cyprus. What an absolutely brilliant list of freedom-loving countries!
And if you're worried that things might go astray before all the member countries are sorted out, don't worry! They've already got support from these superstars!
The White House said on Friday that the founding members of the executive board would include U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, World Bank chief Ajay Banga and Trump’s Middle East envoy, Steve Witkoff. Also named on the board are Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, U.S. billionaire Marc Rowan and Robert Gabriel, a national security adviser in the U.S.
Wow! They got Kushner! What are the chances?
Anyway, if this does anything but funnel billions of dollars directly into Trump's pocket, then I clearly have skipped to an alternate universe where Trump isn't 100% a psychotic, narcissistic, demented, hateful, stupid, rapist, criminal, grifting, pedophile. Maybe in this new universe, he's just 99.99% of those things.
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